


Day By Day

by KomaedaClear



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alcohol, Emotional Manipulation, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulation, Mentions of drugs, REALLY slow, Stockholm Syndrome, Vomiting, bts is a group but got7 isnt, each chapter is a day, mentions of other members - Freeform, past abusive relationship, talk about suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 03:51:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10585854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KomaedaClear/pseuds/KomaedaClear
Summary: When Jimin wakes up, nothing is right.He meets Jaebum, a man who is convinced he's in love with Jimin. Jaebum had kidnapped Jimin for his own personal gain, but as the days go by, Jimin becomes more familiar with the man. He might even feel sorry for him.//fic explores the situation of stockholm syndrome[When this fic is completed, it WILL BE ORPHANED.]PlaylistEvery song is a chapter





	1. Drowning

**Author's Note:**

> shitty summary but its good i swear
> 
> im half-planning for smut?? but im not too sure bc im writing jaebum as a non-sexual kind of guy and would only do it if jimin wants to, but idk
> 
> also i do not condone kidnapping okay
> 
>  
> 
> every chapter is named after a song and i'll have the playlist up soon B^)

Day One  
Thursday, January 12th

 

Jimin’s head hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. And his mouth was dry, limbs heavy, every breath felt like a scream. He couldn’t open his eyes, mind blanketed in darkness. Was he asleep? How long had he been awake for? Despite the pounding of his headache, he began to think coherent thoughts. Like how he hoped he wasn’t sleeping in late. That they had a day off.

Then it hit him. Of course. The group was out drinking the night before. That explained the pounding of his head and his dry mouth. He lifted a heavy arm to rub his face tiredly. What he didn’t expect was to be met with the fabric of a sweater. He never wears sweaters to bed. Why did this worry him so much? Hoseok probably thought he was cold and put him in it. Did he pass out on the couch? The living room was always so cold.

No. He was spread across a soft blanket. A bed. He didn’t remember going to bed. Hell, he barely remembered the night itself. They went out, drank, and then....

And then....

Nothing. He couldn’t remember a thing. Hoping he didn’t do anything stupid, he used his other arm to lift himself up into a sitting position and rubbed one eye open.

Weird. Whose room was this?

He blinked his eyes a couple times, trying to see past the blurriness and the headache. Blank walls. A closet. Carpet? Since when did the dorms have carpet? And a popcorn ceiling. And who had beige blankets? He looked around the small room in confusion. Did he sleep with someone? No. He would never. Nobody would let him.

But where were they?

Carefully standing from the bed, his headache got worse, and he stumbled to his knees in front of the side table. A bottle of tylenol and a glass of water. Seokjin had probably left it out for him. He stood slowly and took two of the pills, draining the glass completely. Fuck, was he thirsty.

He looked down to examine his attire once he had placed the glass back down. A pitch black pullover sweater, and gray sweatpants. No logos at all. He grew even more confused, and worried. These weren’t his, or anybody’s in the band. They all wore brands, even when they slept. He rubbed his face slowly again. Fuck, was he hungry. And tired. And thirsty. And really fucking confused.

With a huff, he finally motivated himself to open the white door. He looked out into a hallway, short and blank. An open door to his immediate right was the bathroom. He entered it, and examined the counter. A blue toothbrush, Crest toothpaste. Beside that was the toilet, short and closed lid. Then a bath-shower combo deal. Jimin made note to take a shower later, when he was fed. There was a bottle of shampoo and conditioner, and soap shaped like a sleeping baby blue cat. Cute. He turned to the mirror and studied his face carefully.

Bagged eyes? Check. Resting bitch face? Check. Now all he needed was black hair and he’d be the perfect twin to Yoongi. Speaking of hair, he noticed his own was a mess. Fuck. he was a mess.

He exited the bathroom and walked down the hallway slowly. The door at the end seemed to be the front door, and to the left was a doorless doorway into the kitchen. Across from that was what looked to be like a living room through an open door, and to the left of the kitchen was a closed door, but all Jimin cared about was the kitchen. He needed food. Something greasy. Fuck diets, he had a fucking hangover and he could splurge if he liked. Just not too much.

The fridge had barely anything, just eggs, jam, milk, and cheese, but the pantry had much more. One item in particular caught his eye: ramen. He really needed noodles.

Just as he was about to grab a package, he heard the front door open, and his blood ran cold. Right. Strange place. Not his clothes. Nothing was his. Was he a guest? Was he trespassing? Fuck fuck fuck.

He stayed frozen where he was, listening to the footsteps enter the kitchen and stop. What sounded like grocery bags were crinkled. And a soft gasp.

“You’re awake.”

When Jimin turned around, he saw the man before him beaming at him, looking so happy. And scared. He set the grocery bags on the table against the wall to the left of the door and crossed the small kitchen to Jimin, reaching out a hand to him. Jimin watched warily, confused, as the man set his hand gently down on his shoulder. His face went soft.

“I’m so happy you’re finally up. I woke up early this morning, I was so excited, but you were still asleep. I hope your head doesn’t hurt too much?” His hand moved up to Jimin’s cheek, and that was when he unfroze.

He slapped the hand away and stared at the man with wide, confused eyes. “Um, who are you? Do I... know you?” He was afraid to ask, in case this was somehow an old friend he had forgotten about.

The man pursed his lips and let his hand drop, eyes no longer gleaming. “No, you don’t.” he took a step back, and Jimin let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “My name is Jaebum. I’m actually a big fan of you.” He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve wanted to see you for so long, you know, and when i found out you were going out last night, i couldn’t help myself.” His hand dropped. “I promise you I never touched you, by the way. Well, i did, but just to dress you! Your clothes were too tight to sleep in, so i threw them in the wash. Double doors beside the bathroom, by the way. But i’ll be showing you around after I put the groceries away. Anyways, yeah, i promise I didn’t touch you sexually after I drugged you.”

Jimin just continued to stare until it clicked. “You what”

Jaebum had already turned away and began putting food in the fridge. “You’re not too hard to carry. It was just a hassle to get you inside. You’re really happy when you’re drunk.”

Jimin continued to stare, face crinkling up. It felt like his headache had gotten worse. “You drugged me?” he whimpered out, voice cracking. Fuck, he should have left when he got up. But he didn’t have his phone, and didn’t know where the fuck they even were.

Jaebum hummed, as though it wasn’t such a big fucking deal, and continued putting food away. When he reached into the pantry to add more packages of ramen to the pile, Jimin quickly moved to beside the stove, away from him.

“W-why? Where’s my phone? Fuck, I get that you’re a fan, but this is basically kidnapping- it’s against the law!” he didn’t know what to do. He was so scared. One of his hands dug into his hair tightly.

“Because, Jimin, you’re so pretty. Everything you do, everything you say, is just so beautiful. I love all of your hair colours. Even this one. Pink isn’t exactly my favourite colour, you know.” he pointed at Jimin’s hair, smile on his face. Still acting like it was nothing.

“Y-you need to let me go. Right n-now-” It was too early for Jimin to have anxiety and cry.

Jaebum shook his head and waggled a finger at Jimin. “Now, Jimin sweetie, you just got here. Stay a little while, for me, please? I’m a big fan. Then i’ll give you back your phone and you can leave.”

“H-how long?” Jimin didn’t know what the fuck to do, but he knew he wasn’t in a state to argue. He felt like his legs were going to give out at any second.

“Hmm, I was hoping forever, actually.” Jaebum had finished putting away the groceries and smiled at him innocently. “Probably not going to happen, though, so don’t look so defeated. Come on, i’ll show you around.” He gestured for Jimin to follow him.

The pink-haired man let out a shaky breath. He could do this. Do what, though? He had to leave. He had to get back to the group. But how?

He walked forward on shaky legs. Fuck, he felt really fucking weak. Did he really drink that much? Wait, it was probably the fucking drug he was given. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why did he have to get drugged?

Jaebum grabbed onto his hand and held on tightly, smiling. Jimin let himself be dragged out into the hall, mostly because he couldn’t stop it. His headache was coming back in full force, and he felt like he couldn’t control his movements properly.

“In here is the living room. There’s a wii in there, and we have Netflix, but no cable. This room is my bedroom. I have a bathroom connected to it, so you can have the one by your room all to yourself.” Jaebum gave Jimin a sneak-peek into his room, the shut the door. Jimin would see the bedroom later. He dragged Jimin towards the double doors beside Jimin’s bathroom and opened them, revealing a washing machine and dryer. “I do laundry every Sunday, so you don’t have to worry about that. Then here is your bathroom! I hope you like the soap, it reminded me of you.” then he entered the room where Jimin was staying. “Your room! I bought you a lot of clothes, they’re in the closet. Sorry they’re not expensive shit, I make just enough to provide for us. You can have a snack whenever, but I want you to join me for every meal: breakfast, lunch, dinner.” he turned to Jimin, who was staring at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Jaebum couldn’t get enough of the sight in front of him. He had to admit, his sweater looked adorable on him. Realizing their hands were still together, he gave a squeeze and pulled Jimin towards him. The man let out a surprised sound as they collided with eachother, and Jaebum let out a laugh. He was so cute!

Jimin started to back away, finally trying to break apart their hands, but Jaebum used his free hand to wrap around Jimin’s waist and pulled him close enough for their noses to touch.

Jaebum’s breath caught in his throat at how close their proximity was. Finally, after years of watching from afar, Jaebum finally got to hold him.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured.

Jimin stared back at him, terrified. He wanted to leave. He was afraid of Jaebum’s intentions. Afraid of being forced into situations he didn’t want to be in. Afraid of never making it out alive.

His anxiety skyrocketed, and he started to cry. Everything was just too much. He pushed his arms against Jaebum’s chest, trying to move away, but when Jaebum had freed his hand it was to wrap both arms around Jimin’s small frame. He pecked Jimin’s nose, then held his head to his chest.

“No, no, don’t cry Minnie. I won’t hurt you. Nobody is going to hurt you.” His heart ached. He wanted Jimin to be happy with him, not sad. “I love you so, so much. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Jimin finally found some strength in him, and he was able to push Jaebum away. “Don’t touch me,” he snarled, though it was mixed with his voice cracking with a sob.

Jaebum only looked at him, face unreadable, before he sighed and moved around him. “Dinner is in a few hours. I’ll give you some time alone. This room is yours. I’ll let you know when I make food, and if you don’t come eat with me, that’s okay. I can let it slide.” He stopped beside the door, hand on the knob ready to close it. “I love you so much, Jimin. And i’m happy you’ll be here forever.” He smiled gently, and shut the door softly.

Jimin stared after him, feeling his entire world crumble. His legs felt like jello. He collapsed to the floor and bent over, sobbing into the carpet, holding his stomach tight. Not only did his head hurt, but his entire being was in pain. Who would just do this to another person? Who would be so sick to believe they were in love with an idol and then proceed to kidnap them?

He wanted to go home. To the dorms. To his parents. Anywhere but there.


	2. Parasites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was scared and so confused  
> He said there's nothing to get and there's nothing to lose."  
>  _\- Parasites by Parks, Squares, and Alleys_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its 1am oops  
> nyanyways  
> got sudden inspiration two hours ago and did this whole chapter just now

Day Two  
Friday, January 13th  
2:00AM

 

 

When Jimin woke up, he was exhausted and hungry. His headache was still there, though distant, and the carpet was imprinted on his hands. His eyes and face felt crusty from his dried tears. Looking around the room, he realized he had slept until the very early morning. The room was cast in darkness, the blinds over the window pulled to not let the moonlight through(if there was any at all).

 

He rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of the sweater before he froze. He remembered that this wasn’t his sweater, or room, or house. Remembering Jaebum didn’t help his mood in the slightest, and he just wanted to go to bed and wake up at the dorms, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed to get out of there.

 

Creeping out of the doorway through the door, he looked down the small, dark hallway. There were nightlights along the bottom of the wall so he could see the floor, but not much else. Slowly, he stepped out into the hallway, the carpet giving a strange texture to his bare feet that he hadn’t initially noticed. As he walked, he listened for sounds of his kidnapper, but hearing nothing, he passed Jaebum’s door. He stopped by the kitchen doorway, but he forced himself to ignore the rumble of his stomach and approached the front door. Taking a deep breath and holding it, he brought his hand up to the doorknob and slowly turned it-

 

_BEEP! BEEP!_

 

A loud sound came from the alarm over the doorknob, a red light blinking, and he heard the same muffled sound coming through Jaebum’s door. The beeping was so loud in his ears, scaring him and causing his anxiety to heighten. He tried to stop the sound by covering the alarm, but it was to no avail. Then he heard the door open behind him, and he wanted to die.

 

He started jiggling the door handle despite knowing it wouldn’t work, and felt tears well up in his eyes. He heard footsteps behind him through the incessant beeping. He saw the vague image of a hand at the corner of his eye and thought that the man was going to hit him for trying to leave.

 

“No!” he sobbed out, letting go of the handle and backing into the corner beside the door. Except jaebum wasn’t going to hit him, or even touch him. Instead, he hid the keypad to the alarm with one hand and pressed in a combination that Jimin knew he needed, and then the beeping stopped.

 

Jaebum turned to him, tired and face full of some sort of sadness that Jimin couldn’t comprehend.

 

“Jiminnie, were you trying to leave?” he asked with a yawn.

 

Jimin began to stutter. “I- n-no, I was just- I was- just- I was just going to- I-”

 

“I know. You were going to leave. But you can’t. Come on, let’s go back to bed.” He reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, but Jimin flinched and slid down the wall, burying his face in his hands.

 

“I j-just want to go home,” Jimin begged into his hands, tears dripping down his face onto the sweater that wasn’t even his to begin with.

 

Jaebum sighed. Jimin didn’t hear him leave, or come back, but a blanket was draped over his small body. He tugged it around himself in order to hide away.

 

“I love you,” Jaebum murmured, and this time Jimin heard his footsteps walk back to his room, the door being shut.

 

Jimin was alone.

 

He didn’t know what to do. He could fight, yes, but he didn’t know the combo for the keypad in order to unlock the door. He could always offer something in return for him being released. But he was afraid of what Jaebum could want. He was afraid of Jaebum. He was bigger, broader, stronger than Jimin was. He missed the others. He was barely gone a day and he already felt like it had been forever. That day, they were supposed to start thinking up lyrics and music for their next album, while simultaneously continue working out to keep their bodies in shape. He wondered what his friends would do that day without him there. Did they notice he was missing? Yes, of course, but would they think anything of it? Maybe not the day before, but that day definitely. Jimin never missed out on working out. They’d probably ask around, and when nobody knew where he was, they’d call the cops. Hopefully.

 

What would they do in this situation? Yoongi wouldn’t take shit, but Jimin knew that Jaebum was stronger than him, so maybe Yoongi would stick it out. Namjoon would definitely give him the benefit of the doubt and found a way out by now. Jungkook would probably be most affected, if Jimin went by what happened in American Hustle Life with the fake kidnapping. He remembered that Jungkook almost cried. At least the younger would probably be strong enough to fight back. Hoseok and Jin were also strong, but they were also too nice for their own good. Could they fight? Taehyung would have probably found a way out right away. Fuck, everyone would have gotten out by then. If only Jimin was a little stronger, a little smarter. For the time being he could only let Jaebum do what he wanted.

 

The thought made him shiver. What would Jaebum do to him? Jimin didn’t want to think about it, but his paranoia and anxiety forced images into his head that he never wanted to see. He snuggled more into the blanket, feeling his thoughts begin to mush, the images twisted into faces and words and scenarios, darkness consuming him. Before he had a chance to keep track of his dreams, a sound from the living room woke him up.

 

First, he heard a woman’s voice talking. Alongside that was the sound of slurping.

 

He sat up, eyes squinted. Light was coming from the living room. Natural light. Sunlight. He heard the voice again, disrupting his thoughts even as his tired limbs called out for more sleep. His stomach was much louder, and the slurping of soup or noodles was practically screaming his name.

 

He put a hand on the floor to push himself up, but was met with the soft pressure of a pillow to his hand. He looked down, confused. It was just a regular white pillow. Though he didn’t ever remember grabbing one, he ignored it in favour of standing up slowly and walking shakily over to the living room.

 

He spotted jaebum on the couch, eating tomato soup, watching what looked like a documentary. Sensing Jimin’s presence, he turned his head a smiled.

 

“Hey, Minnie,” he greeted softly. He placed the bowl on a napkin on the small coffee table and stood up. “You hungry? It’s only 8am, but you can have whatever you want.”

 

Jimin shook his head. “I want to leave.”

 

The smile fell from Jimin’s face, being replaced by sorrow. “But you just got here? Why would you want to leave so soon?”

 

“Listen, i’ll give you whatever you want. An autograph, a photo, anything. Just please, let me go.” His voice cracked towards the end, and he cursed himself for being so pathetic. “I promise I won’t tell anyone if you let me go. _Please_ , Jaebum.”

 

Jaebum looked up, eyebrows furrowed as though in thought. Then he grinned slyly. “Anything I want? Well, a couple thousand kisses and I _might_ tell you the code.” He turned his gaze back to Jimin’s. “Cheeks, lips, doesn’t matter where. Me to you, you to me, whatever. Do that, and I might consider letting you go.”

 

Jimin scowled at this. The fuck he’d let his kidnapper go anywhere near him with his lips. Fuck him. “Think again, the closest to that you’re getting from me is posing for a photo.” With that, he turned on his heels and stalked towards the bedroom that Jaebum called ‘his’. He’d never consider it his. He didn’t belong there. He belonged with BTS.

 

In order to prove a point, he slammed the door. This only proceeded to make his frustration and anger go up, filtering through his limbs to the point of wanting to punch a wall. He was interrupted from his anger, however, when a pain shot through his stomach, and he remembered he hadn’t ate for a day.

 

He sat on the bed with a huff, realizing both his pillow and blanket were still in the hall(fuck, not his, Jaebum’s; he kept forgetting this wasn’t the dorms), and felt tears come up again. Fuck, he wasn’t usually a cry-baby. He just needed a meal.

 

Before he stood from the bed, however, there was a knock at the door, and he immediately stiffened up. The door slowly opened and Jaebum smiled at him, holding a bowl and a glass of water. Jimin glared at him.

 

“Thought you were hungry. I had some tomato soup left over, but whenever you’re hungry, just go at it in the kitchen.” he walked towards the side table and placed the items down. “Don’t be a stranger.” He walked back to the door, only stopping to look back and say, “I love you.” Then the door was shut.

 

Without even hesitating, Jimin began to devour the soup, relishing in the broken bits of crackers and the cheese. Finally, he was eating, but it wasn’t enough. He dreaded having to leave the room.

 

He put the empty bowl back down and stood, deciding to look through the closet. May as well; afterall, he didn’t want to wear the same clothes everyday.

 

In the closet, he was surprised to find a lot in it. What Jaebum didn’t have in quality, he made up for in quantity. Jimin was impressed that someone so low would have so many clothes. He picked out some dark ripped jeans and a dark red, almost maroon, zip-up sweater. He felt too cold to wear a T-shirt.

 

Satisfied with his outfit, and just glad to be out of the sweater that was beginning to smell, he walked out of the room with the empty bowl and glass, surprised to see the pillow and blanket stacked by the door. He scoffed at the sight. Pretending to be nice for brownie points wouldn’t make him like the guy any more.

 

Jaebum was back in the living room, now finished eating, so Jimin took the time to put his bowl and glass in the sink and begin exploring the different cupboards and drawers. He managed to open the silverware drawer after a couple of times, and paused, looking over the butter knives. His eyes then flicked up to the assortment of knives stuck in the wooden on the counter.

 

Even if he had to, he couldn’t kill someone. Or hurt them. He knew that. It wasn’t that he was too nice, it was just that he knew he couldn’t live with someone else’s blood on his hands. He scolded himself for being such a coward. Maybe he could hide a knife in the room, just in case-

 

“Find something you liked?”

 

Jimin yelped in surprise, spinning around to meet a smirking jaebum leaning in the doorway. He waited a few seconds before stepping away from the doorway and walking towards Jimin, looking into the sink to see the bowl.

 

“Glad you ate. Hey, wanna play some games with me?” He asked that so casually that jimin had to blink a couple of times.

 

“You _kidnapped_ me,” Jimin said in disbelief.

 

Jaebum shrugged nonchalantly. “So what? It’s not like i’m going to chain you up or anything.” He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow up at him. “You think that since I kidnapped you you’re not allowed to have fun?”

 

_Yes, exactly that._

 

“I told you, i’m not going to touch or hurt you without permission. So grab something to eat and join me in the living room. I know you’re still hungry. You can eat and play, or watch me play if you want. Unless you’d rather do something other than play video games, of course. There’s Netflix here. We can watch whatever you want.” He smiled brightly, as though he was the nicest guy in the world. “I love you, and i want you to be happy while you’re here.”

 

“I doubt I can be happy if it’s _you_ ,” Jimin snapped. He didn’t mean to, but it was worth it to see the way Jaebum’s face dropped and his jaw clenched. That is, until he grabbed his wrist, and then fear coursed through his veins and the images from the night before came back. “I’m sorr-”

 

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m giving you a place to stay, food to eat, freedom to do whatever the hell you want. I can take that all away. When you’re under _my_ roof, I can give you privilege, and I could take that away. I said i wouldn’t hurt you, but I can, Jimin.” Jaebum’s eyes were wild, full of anger. “You’re so pretty, don’t make me take that away from you, Minnie.”

 

Jimin was terrified. He thought Jaebum was a softie, but he was wrong, if the grip on his wrist was anything to go by. “I’m sorry,” he gasped. He tried to pull away, but the grip just tightened. “Please let go of me.”

 

Jaebum looked down at his hand, then back up to Jimin’s eyes. “What if I don’t want to?” he asked snidely.

 

He struggled a little harder. “Please,” he begged. Jaebum grabbed onto his shoulder while still holding his wrist, hand close to his neck. “Let go! Let me go!” he screamed. Jaebum held on with a vice-like grip. Jimin felt tears spring to his eyes. “I’m sorry, i’m sorry! Let go, let go, let go!”

 

“Say it,” Jaebum instructed calmly. “I want to hear you say it, Minnie. Tell me you love me. Promise me you won’t disrespect me ever again.”

 

Jimin stared with wide eyes, refusing to open his mouth. However, when the hand on his shoulder got dangerously close to his neck, when he could feel it barely touch, he felt his entire world break. “I love you, please let go! I promise I won’t disrespect you! Please let go!”

 

Jaebum smiled sweetly, contrasting with his violent actions, and he let go, watching Jimin stumble back with choked sobs.

 

“So pretty, my Minnie. I love you too. Now, want to play video games or watch a movie?”

 

Jimin held onto the counter, still choking on air. His wrist was on fire, and he could see the red mark forming. “M-movie,” he muttered, not speaking in his normal voice for fear of it cracking.

 

Jaebum clapped his hands happily. “Great! Come on, Minnie, let’s go.” He gestured for Jimin to follow, and waited for him.

 

Jimin had to wait a few seconds to compose himself. Then, he pushed himself off the counter and stared at the floor while he forced himself to follow Jaebum into the living room.

 

The couch was small, but when they sat down there was still a significant gap between them. Jimin was thankful. But Jaebum had other plans, and swung his left arm over Jimin’s shoulders while scrolling through Netflix for a movie to watch. As soon as Jaebum had done that, Jimin started crying, trying to hide his face into one of the sleeves of the sweater.

 

Jaebum pressed a kiss into Jimin’s hair. “You’re so pretty, even when you cry.” He rubbed Jimin’s arm in an attempt to console him. “But it’s sad. You’re much prettier when you smile. Here, this movie will make you happy, then you can smile.” Jimin didn’t pay attention to what he picked. When Jaebum put the remote down, he began to rub both of Jimin’s arms, holding him close. “If I had it my way, I would hold you constantly, and make you smile and laugh.”

 

Jimin closed his eyes and begged for this nightmare to be over.

 

 

 

 

 

At around 12:04, Jaebum deemed it the appropriate time to make them both turkey sandwiches before the next movie. Jimin rubbed his face harshly, trying to wake himself up. He was so scared, even more so now that he knew Jaebum wouldn’t hesitate to harm him. Even if he promised he wouldn’t. That thought terrified him so much.

 

Jaebum returned with a smile on his face. “You tired?”

 

“Yeah,” Jimin croaked out.

 

“Alright. After we eat you can nap in my arms.” He sat down next to him and handed his sandwich to him. “I’m so happy you’re here. I have spent so long watching you from afar, dreaming of you being here like this. I’m sad I haven’t seen you smile yet, but you will.” Jimin ate his sandwich and watched him carefully while he toyed with his crust. “You know, it’s been so long since I had a boyfriend. The last one I had was an asshole. But you don’t want to hear about that, right?” He looked up and smiled sadly at him. “Everything will be okay, because you’re here.” He took one of Jimin’s hands and brought it to his lips, kissing it softly and rubbing the spot with his thumb afterwards. “I’m the luckiest man in the world to have you.”

 

Jimin felt disgusted. He continued to chew slowly, watching Jaebum finally eat his sandwich. He managed to finish before the other, and placed the empty plate on the table. “Can I go sleep now?” he asked. He didn’t mean for his tone to be disgruntled, but oh well.

 

Jaebum didn’t seem to notice. “As long as you stay here. I’ve waited ages to hold you, you know. I’m not going to waste this chance just for a nap.”

 

Jimin bit his lip. “You said i’d never leave, right? Would it be a waste if you have eternity to do it?”

 

Jaebum paused, then looked back at him. “Every second is a waste if i’m not holding you.” He abandoned his plate and half of his sandwich in favour of pulling Jimin into him for a hug. “I love you, and i want you to know that you’re beautiful, inside and out.” he rubbed his back before pulling away and smiling. “You can go to your room, if you give me a kiss.”

 

He really wanted to be alone, but was kissing the asshole worth it? He weighed the two carefully in his mind. Then, coming to a decision, he swallowed down the bile in his throat and pecked the lips in front of him. The bile was rising steadily again, especially at the look of pure happiness on Jaebum’s face.

 

“Okay, Minnie, you can go.” Jimin stood, but Jaebum held onto his sleeve. “I love you.”

 

“I- love you, too,” Jimin replied gruffly through clenched teeth. As soon as his sleeve was released, he had to stop himself from running. Instead, he walked as calmly as he could until he was out of Jaebum’s sight, then just barely managed to stumble into the bathroom where he gagged over the toilet for a full minute. He never wanted to _kiss_ the creep again. He would get out of that shithole, no mater what.

 

 

 

 

 

He managed to sleep for a good few hours, snuggled up into the blanket in a cocoon. He didn’t dream. When he woke up he realized how much of his time he had spent sleeping, and decided to stretch to wake his muscles up.

 

He pulled the sweater off and opted for a tank top so as not to sweat as much, and folded himself in half, facing away from the door. He managed a few seconds before the door opened and Jabeum’s head popped through.

 

“Jimin, i’m ordering- oh.” Of fucking course he chose that exact moment to look into the room, seeing Jimin’s ass on display. Even though it was clothed, Jimin knew that Jaebum saw everything.

 

He stood again and glared at him. “Ordering what?”

 

“Just some pizza. I’m going to pick it up when it’s ready. Can you set the table while i’m gone? Just some plates are fine, and cups for drinks. You can have whatever you want. Liquor cabinet is above the sink, pop in the pantry, milk and juice in the fridge. I’ll be back soon, okay baby?”

 

Jimin sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.” He really hated that he had to say that.

 

“A goodbye kiss?” Jaebum pouted.

 

Honestly, Jimin would rather die. “What if I don’t want to?” he retaliated. Perfect.

 

Jaebum stepped fully into the room, jaw clenched like earlier. “Jimin,” he warned, “remember what I said earlier? I can take that kiss by force. I can take a lot of things, Jimin.” He walked up to Jimin and placed a hand on his cheek. Jimin had to force himself not to back away or flinch, and to force himself not to anger the man. Then Jaebum was grabbing his face forcefully in both hands and kissing him hard.

 

Bile rose up again as Jimin’s worst fears resurfaced, and he panicked and kneed him in the crotch. Jaebum doubled over. He gasped when he realised what he had down.

 

“I’m sorry, i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t mean to.”

 

When Jaebum stood at his full height, his gaze was dark and fists were clenched. “But you did it.” He stepped forward. Jimin took a step back and started crying again.

 

“I’m sorry. Please believe me, i’m sor-ry. It just ha-happened. I w-was afraid-” _Of you._ he covered his mouth and shook his head, clenching his eyes shut. He didn’t expect Jaebum to pull him into a gentle hug, stroking his back.

 

“It’s okay, I forgive you. Shit happens. Just don’t do it again, okay? I’ll go get the pizza. Do what I asked, baby. I’ll be home soon.” He pulled away just enough to peck the tip of Jimin’s nose and then he was gone, the front door closing.

 

Jimin shakily made his way to the kitchen and began to set the table, all the while trying to force his sobs to stop. He poured himself a glass of coke. He’d drink, but the last time that happened, he was drugged. He sat in the chair facing the wall where the door was to the immediate left of it, hoping to not be surprised when Jaebum entered.

 

He stiffened at the sound of the front door opening, and when he saw Jaebum, he started crying again.

 

Jaebum had chosen to ignore it in favour of pressing a kiss into his hair and putting the pizza box in the centre of the small round table. “I hope you like pepperoni.”

 

Jimin nodded. He actually loved pepperoni.

 

He watched as the other man poured himself some rum and coke and began to put slices onto his plate. “Come on, dig in, baby.”

 

Jimin took a single slice, feeling his stomach churn. He lifted the pizza and watched as cheese hung off the end, drooping down. Grease stained his hands. Jaebum smiled across from him. Bile was rising yet again, and it wasn’t going to stop.

 

He threw the pizza down and covered his mouth with one hand, running out of the kitchen only to collapse immediately in the hallway, vomit coming out into his hand. He felt so gross, but he couldn’t stop. He felt dizzy. His throat burned.

 

Jaebum was rubbing his back, and before he knew it, he was being lifted and brought to the bathroom, being gently set down on the tiled floor.

 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”

 

Jaebum reached to grip the hem of the shirt Jimin was wearing, but Jimin pushed his hands away and cried. “Leave me alone,” he sobbed out. “I w-wanna go home. I wanna go home. Home, home, home, home.” He kept repeating the word like a mantra. He pulled himself over to gag into the open toilet again. Jaebum started running the water in the sink and suddenly a wet cloth was being wiped around his face. Even when Jimin sat back, he kept repeating ‘home’ quietly.

 

“It’s okay, baby. Everyone pukes. It’s okay.”

 

_Home. Home. Home. Home._

 

“When i’ve cleaned you up, i’ll run you a bath, okay? I won’t touch you.”

 

Jimin looked up at him blankly, tears having stopped, but still whispering to himself. _Home, home, home._

 

Jaebum did as he promised, and when the bathtub was full, he left Jimin to undress. The boy vaguely heard the sound of a shampooer, but his own whispered tone overpowered all other sounds and he lowered himself, undressed, into the bath. The water was warm, soothing his aching muscles, and bubbles covered the entire surface. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes with a sigh. For once, he was at bliss. For once, he managed to forget about the world in favour of the metaphorical vomit he had also spewed everywhere; the vomit that represented _home_.

 

 

 

 

 

Jimin watched the digital clock on the side table go from 5:43 to 9:56. A cloth was placed over his forehead, and he hadn’t even paid attention when Jaebum tucked him into bed. Water was next to his bed.

 

It reminded him of the time he got really sick during one of their practices and ended up vomiting over the floor. Jin had cooked him soup and Hoseok made sure to give him water, a cloth, and got him cleaned up. He remembered Taehyung coming in after his shower, and cuddling with him even though he was sick because he knew that Jimin always craved affection in order to cope with staying in bed. Jimin had clung to him all night, and Hoseok ended up joining them halfway through the night, Jimin sandwiched in the middle. Everyone else was amazed that Tae and Hoseok hadn’t gotten sick from that. Jimin was glad. He couldn’t stand knowing he had put his friends’ health at jeopardy.

 

He couldn’t cry, he was too exhausted to, but he drew in shaky breaths at the thoughts of his friends. He just wanted to see them again. He wanted to go home.

 

_Home._

 

“Home,” he croaked out into the darkness. There was a night light in his room, and even though he knew it was still, he watched lights dance above him, spinning and spinning into faces. Familiar faces. Yoongi smiling. Fans at fansigns. Namjoon when he congratulated the group. Jin when he told a joke. Hoseok crying because he was so exhausted one day and had overworked himself. Jungkook’s face morphing into a bunny. Or a tiger. Maybe a turtle? The images he saw weren’t clear, but they made him dizzy and he leaned over to throw up into the bucket beside his bed.

 

Why couldn’t he go home? Why did this happen to him?


	3. Tiny Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "take me back to before i got bad"  
>  _\- remembering a room that isn't there by flatsound_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. hell yeah actual chapter bc u guys voted to keep it forward. ill use the backwards thing on smth else tho :>  
> 2\. summary is lowercase bc its supposed to be dont have an aneurysm @ english ppl lol  
> 3\. i put the playlist in yo have a listen and guess what happens next  
> 4\. there'll be at least 30 chapters buddies  
> 5\. there will be rape at one point but rest assured ill be tagging it. tbh planning it made me sick enough so im not looking forward to it at all.   
> 6\. please read Jane Eyre and The Wars they're amazing aND WATCH W;T OKAY
> 
> also bc im in ap english i couldn't help but add in a motif(a recurring theme/symbol). spoiler alert it's innocence and imma be pointing it out sometimes bc im just excited all the time bye

Day Three  
Saturday, January 14th

Light filtered through the closed curtain and onto the small bed. Despite the light, however, the room was cast in darkness, a chill settled in the air. The digital clock by the bedside read 9:58am. Jimin’s face was warm and dry. Tear tracks traced his cheekbones, crusty from the time passing. His eyes were heavy and he felt like his limbs wouldn’t move if he tried. He didn’t get any sleep, too preoccupied with the thought of home. The cloth on his forehead had fallen off at some point, and his stomach was no longer churning, but Jimin knew something was wrong with his body. He hadn’t thrown up for a while, since that one practice where he couldn’t remember if he ate too much or too little, but when the first drop of water hit his tongue, his body lurched forward and turned him inside-out. He remembered Yoongi and Hoseok finding him on the floor in a pile of his own vomit. He wasn’t sick, just worked himself too far, but fuck, did his throat burn.

Jimin swallowed harshly and felt his too-dry throat clench on itself, signaling he really needed water. He turned his head and willed the glass of water beside him to lift itself up and let him drink, but as physics would have it, he could not drink through sheer willpower. So, he managed to lift himself up and drag the glass towards him. Just as he finished it, Jaebum knocked softly and walked in, holding a bowl of what looked like chicken noodle soup.

“Hey, Minnie,” he cooed as he took a seat beside Jimin, between him and the side table. He took the empty glass from him and placed it down, along with the bowl, and felt his forehead for his temperature. “How are you feeling?”

Jimin flinched, but stuck it out. “Better,” he muttered with a glare.

If Jaebum noticed, he didn’t bring it up. Instead, with a gentle smile he brought the bowl over and lifted the spoon up to Jimin. “Eat up, baby.”

Jimin shook his head defiantly. “No.”

The other sighed. “Jimin, come on. You need to eat-”

“I said, no.” His voice grew quiet, then, “I won’t eat unless you tell me how my friends are doing.”

Jaebum stared at him unblinkingly for so long Jimin thought he might have turned into a statue, but then he was sighing and putting the bowl down and pulling out his phone. When Jimin was handed it, he stared at the screen in front of him.

It was a news article, announcing his disappearance. He started tearing up as he read through it. There was mention of the bar they were at, what he was wearing, and a few words from Namjoon.

__ We asked Kim Namjoon, also known as Rap Monster, about his thoughts on the matter, with permission from his manager.  
“It was quite shocking,” he told us. “Honestly, I thought he might have ran into an old friend and forgot to tell us. But it’s been a few days. I really do hope he comes back soon. Without him, BTS isn’t really BTS anymore.  
“Everyone is taking it real hard, you know. But as long as he comes home safe, we’ll be alright.”  
If you find out information on the whereabouts of Park Jimin, please contact- 

Jaebum snatched the phone away then, as though he could only take so much of watching Jimin read. “There, now you know. Eat.”

But Jimin couldn’t eat. His eyes were filled to the brim with tears, and as he let one slip, he realized his friends probably thought the worse had happened to him. He wanted to say, no, that he was alright, that he wasn’t hurt, just afraid. Anything to make sure they were happy.

“They don’t know if i’m okay,” he choked out. He turned his eyes to meet Jaebum’s, and watched as his kidnapper’s face softened. “They need to know i’m okay.” He gripped tight onto the other’s shirt, as if he could do something, anything, to let them know.

Jaebum rubbed his back, softly and slowly, as he lifted the bowl up again. “It’s okay, Minnie. I’ll tell them, okay? Just please eat, then i’ll tell them. Does that sound fair to you?”

Slightly delirious from his night of sickness and tears, Jimin nodded and began to eat, not questioning logic at that moment. BTS was too important to him to just give up on.

At the third spoonful, his throat rejected a noodle and he started to cough it up, but because the soup made it slippery, it went down again. At this little battle, he felt his stomach turn over. He struggled to just eat the noodle properly, but his stomach was winning. Figuring he couldn’t just win this battle, he leaned over Jaebum and grabbed the bucket, lifting it up so he didn’t have to strain his upper body too hard, and let himself gag the noodle out, all the while with Jaebum rubbing his back and humming softly.

“Aw, i’m sorry you have to do this, Minnie,” he murmured. He kissed the top of Jimin’s head sweetly. “So precious. I’ll make you all better. Don’t worry, baby. I love you.” He kissed his head again and lowered the bucket in order to spoon more soup for Jimin.

He stared into Jaebum’s eyes, taking shaky breaths. “I can’t eat,” he croaked out. It felt as though his face was swelling up with more tears, and he couldn’t eat like this. Not when he could very well throw up his stomach.

Jaebum’s face grew sadder. He set the bowl down and took Jimin’s hands in his, rubbing circles with his thumbs soothingly. “I feel so bad, Minnie. I wish I could take all of your pain away.” He pecked Jimin’s forehead. “You’re so pretty and kind, you don’t deserve to be sick.” Letting go of one of Jimin’s hands, Jaebum lifted his free one up to lightly caress Jimin’s face. He tried not to lean into it, but in truth, he craved intimacy. Just not with Jaebum. But he was the only other person there, and Jimin felt so empty without someone by his side. Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes and let his head rest in Jaebum’s hand, pretending it was one of his friends. Like Taehyung. Yes, he was sweet like this. Would assure him that he’d get better. Would offer to bring him anything. Jimin missed him.

The illusion was broken when Jaebum pulled away. Jimin felt the bed lift from where Jaebum had sat, and he opened his eyes to see Jaebum leaving the room. “I love you,” the taller man whispered, more to himself, when he turned to smile gently at Jimin. “I’ll come get the bowl in ten minutes. Try to eat, okay? If you can’t, that’s fine.” Then he was gone.

Jimin laid himself back down in the bed, feeling like his skin was suddenly on fire. He hadn’t realized it before, but there was sweat sticking to his back, making the shirt he wore uncomfortable. He hated it when he noticed these things too late. Sighing, he managed to free the shirt from himself while still laying down, and discarded it across the room. He pulled the blanket up and wrapped himself in a cocoon. Despite his burning skin, he felt safe in that position, and he thought about nothing at all, letting the darkness behind his eyelids be his friend. He may or may not have fallen asleep, he wasn’t sure, but when he next opened his eyes it was because of two things: 1, his stomach was churning; 2, he realized something very important.

He sat up quickly and leaned over the bed, back aching from the position already, and threw up what little of the soup he had downed. His sickness wasn’t just the cause of his retching, not this time. He remembered Jaebum saying he would tell BTS that Jimin was okay, but when Jimin thought about it, there was no logic to that statement at all. Jaebum would never risk losing Jimin just to tell his friends he was okay.

The clock on the side table read 12:03. The bowl was gone, replaced with a glass of cold water. Jimin figured he’d kill two birds with one stone and get something to eat while he yelled at Jaebum. In case things went sour, he made his way to the kitchen, hoping that Jaebum wasn’t there. He forgot about his discarded shirt and only realized this halfway down the hall, but he thought, fuck it, and risked the kitchen.

Luck was not on his side.

There stood Jaebum, holding his plate with half a sandwich on it while he leaned against the counter, chewing the remains of his other half without a care. Jimin felt sick, but that wouldn’t stop him.

Jaebum looked up in surprise. “Jimin, what are you- um, doing up?” He swallowed harshly at the sight of Jimin’s bare chest and abs, but the shorter decided to cut to the chase.

“You’re a liar,” he accused, pointing a finger right at him. “You said you would tell BTS I was okay, but if you did that you’d have to tell them where I am. You’re. A. Liar.” He ignored his protesting stomach in favour of sliding his bare feet right up to Jaebum and looking him directly in the eyes.

“I’m sorry, Minnie.” He sighed, lowering the plate slightly. “I just wanted you to be happy-”

“As long as i’m here, I will never be fucking happy!” He wasn’t yelling, his voice would crack too much, but it was loud enough to make Jaebum’s eyes widen and his jaw twist. Jimin knew he had fucked up.

“You’re sick, delirious. You don’t know what you’re saying.” Jaebum put the plate behind him on the counter and shuffled over to a cabinet with various bottles of medicine. “Here, i’ll get you some nyquil. It’s all I have at the moment. It might not be for throwing up, but if you’re congested it’ll be good for you. You can take it to your room to have it or-”

Out of anger, or pure deliriousness, Jimin grabbed the plate and threw it unceremoniously onto the ground at his feet. The force of his throw made him stumble a little, and some pieces of the plate dug into his feet and he winced. Half of the sandwich landed perfectly attached.

Jaebum had looked over, startled, when he heard the shatter, but then his face went dark and he pulled the large bottle of nyquil out of the cupboard and slammed it shut, grabbing Jimin’s bare arm tightly. “You little fucking devil,” he snarled into Jimin’s ear, and dragged him out of the kitchen and towards his room. Jimin struggled, but his feet were in too much pain to step properly. The carpet dragged against the small shards, and he yelped when one snagged and it was pulled out forcefully. Jaebum threw him to the ground in his room and gave him a harsh slap before turning him over onto his stomach and pinning his arms to his back tightly. “You think you can do anything you want, Jimin?” he growled. Jimin struggled under him. “Well, you’re fucking wrong. What, do you want to get hurt? Do you want me to take everything away from you? I can do it, Jimin. I can take whatever I damn well please. If you disobey me or act out one more time, I will take away whatever innocence you have left.” He gave a harsh slap to Jimin’s ass to accentuate his point.

“I’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry,” Jimin sobbed into the carpet. He didn’t want to get hurt, didn’t want Jaebum to take away anything from him. “Please don’t hurt me, i promise I won’t do anything bad!” His throat hurt already, as though his tears were directly taking all moisture from just that place.

“What’s that, Minnie? I don’t think I believe you very much.” Jaebum ran a hand harshly down Jimin’s back, barely digging his nails in.

Jimin cried out. “I love you! I love you! Please don’t hurt me, I love you, I promise I won’t be bad, I l-love you so much.” He felt like he was shattering at that moment. He had to say it, for Jaebum to believe him and not hurt him.

Jaebum hummed, as if in thought. Then he let go of Jimin and sat back. “Alright, Minnie. Kiss me.” Jimin sat up slowly, staring at him uncertainly, eyes bloodshot already from crying. A sob wracked through his body when Jaebum pulled him forward. “Kiss me, and i’ll believe you.”

Jimin shut his eyes tight and forced himself to push his head forward, feeling bile rise up his throat, but pushing it down to avoid Jaebum being even more mad at him. He felt his lips touch skin, then Jaebum was moving his head down to meet Jimin’s lips. When Jaebum stroked Jimin’s back, he thought it’d be harsh, but it was soft and gentle, as though Jaebum was trying to comfort him.

Jaebum pulled back and cupped Jimin’s face in his hands. “I forgive you, baby,” he murmured. “You’re so pretty, there’s no reason not to forgive you. I promise you, I wouldn’t hurt you, Minnie. I just had to make sure you wouldn’t break my things again.” He kissed him again. “If I get sick, I expect you to take care of me too.” Then Jaebum pushed him away roughly, standing up and tossing the bottle of nyquil to Jimin. “No dinner for you, though. That plate cost a lot.” He was gone.

Jimin breathed a sigh of relief, but it didn’t last long. He felt stranded. He felt lonely. Most of all, he felt terrified. Jaebum had changed so much in the span of minutes. He believed that, one day, Jaebum will snap and act on his threats without reason.

He eyed the nyquil, then brought it up to his face, examining it. There was nothing on it saying it’d help him, but fuck, he’d take anything at that point. Without thinking or meaning to, he pulled off the cap and downed a quarter of it. More than he should. But he didn’t care.

Immediately, his stomach reacted, but he didn’t care.

He put the cap back on and sat, staring down at the bottle. He thought nothing. It would be calming, and it was, but then his mind grew restless. He wanted to think of something. Of anything. So he thought of Yoongi.

When Jimin was lonely, staying up to late, he’d make his way to the studio to find Yoongi there, just as lonely. They’d talk. Jimin couldn’t remember anything about what they talked about, but it always comforted him. He wished Yoongi was there. He started to think about what he’d say to Yoongi if he were there. Drawing his legs up to his chest, he stared at the ground as he imagined the scenario.

_Yoongi would sit across from him, drinking an energy drink like pop. “What’s up?” he’d ask._

_Jimin would shrug, not meeting his gaze. “I feel lost. I don’t know what to do.”_

_“You know what to do.”_

_“I don’t.”_

_Yoongi would sigh, examining his drink, before coming over to wrap an arm around Jimin. But in this daydream, Yoongi stayed right there. The meaning of what he wanted to do was in his eyes._

_“You have to stay safe.”_

_“I don’t know how.”_

_“You’ll get out. We miss you. If that asshole hurts you, when you get out i’ll kick his ass. We miss you so, so much, Jimin. We don’t think any less of you for giving into his demands. It just means you’re safe. Stay safe.”_

_“I want to go home,” he would sob._

_“I can’t take you with me,” Yoongi would reply. His eyes would look sad. For some reason, he started to fade away from Jimin’s daydream._

_“No, come back!”_

_“We love you.”_

_“Don’t go, don’t go, don’t leave me alone!” He’s afraid._

“I miss you,” Jimin sobbed into his knees. The sweatpants he was wearing had dark patches where Jimin’s tears fell. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

 

 

Jaebum opened the door slowly, then kneeled beside the still-sobbing Jimin. He was drowsy, but forced himself to stay awake out of fear that Jaebum would get mad. “Come on, Minnie,” he begged softly. “Stop crying. It’s been a few hours. Here, why don’t you see what I got you today?” Jimin peeked out to see a leather-bound notebook in front of him. “It’s for you to write your thoughts down baby. Here, i’ll leave this with a pen.” He smiled gently at Jimin, brushing hair away from his eyes. “Beautiful,” he praised. “You’re so beautiful, Minnie. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jimin forced out. His voice was muffled behind his legs, but by the smile on Jaebum’s face, he knew the older heard.

“Good. You should rest. I’ll be binge-watching a show, okay baby?” He ruffled Jimin’s hair affectionately. When he left, Jimin rubbed his nose with the heel of his palm and sniffled. The leather-bound notebook sat there, black pen on top of it. He leaned forward and opened it. The first page was written in already.

_Jimin, I love you. I hope this notebook helps you. I’m sorry I have to be mean. You’re perfect. - Jaebum._

Jimin ripped the first page out and then continued to tear it apart angrily, pieces littering around him like they were confetti for his pity party. Then he stared down at the blank page, pen in hand, feeling a deep sorrow come over him. He remembered how Taehyung bought a blank notebook the year before, meaning to keep a diary but ended up writing letters to his family that he never sent. Jimin had thought it was silly, to write letters but not send them, but now....

He pressed the tip of the pen down, and began to write.

 

 

At 6:09, he finished, and put the book under his pillow, pages fresh with tears. He wrote about missing them, but he couldn’t remember much else of what he wrote. He was tired. He pulled a black sweater over his head and laid himself down under the covers, pretending he was at the dorms. It was the only way he could stay same.

“I miss you guys,” he whispered into the sheet. Vaguely, he heard Jaebum walk in, probably with food or a drink, but he stayed under the covers, pretending to sleep.

“Oh baby,” he heard Jaebum whisper above him. The covers were pulled back slightly for Jaebum to kiss Jimin’s forehead. “I hope you know how happy I am with you. You’re too gentle and soft for me. I can’t wait until you compliment me, too.” But Jaebum didn’t leave yet. He crawled into the covers beside him and held him to his chest. “You sleep like a log,” he chuckled. He kissed his forehead again. “I wonder what you really think of me.” He crawled out of the bed and tucked the covers around Jimin. “Goodnight, Minnie.”

Jimin pulled the pillow to his face when Jaebum left. Tears escaped his eyes and pressed into the pillow. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want Jaebum to touch him. He didn’t want to deal with him.

“I want to go home,” he breathed.

It took a while for him to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, thanks for the love! i read every single comment even if i dont reply :> and thanks if u voted on the poll btw but tbh i wanna keep this rolling so enjoy future chapters!!


	4. What Went Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't forgive  
> Can't forget  
> Can't give in what went wrong  
> Cause you said this was right  
> You fucked up my life"  
> \- _What Went Wrong, cover by Yotam Perel_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long guys!! i have no idea what my priorities are rn bc i also have a lot of reqs on my blog to get through, and i have KPS:FN that has me mega writing blocked rn, and UOTW is so long, and then theres irl stuff too. im dying. anyways uhh heres wonderwall

Day Four  
Sunday, January 15th

As soon as Jimin woke up he pulled the notebook out, the image of Hoseok fresh in his mind. He used to never dream about his friends, but he guessed he would now. Because he remembered Hoseok and his smile and how in his dream he cheered Jimin up, leaving a tight squeeze in his chest. He brought the pen down to the paper and began to write furiously despite how tired he still was. He wrote a letter to Hoseok about missing him. About how much he missed his smile and the way he could light up a room instantly, how much he missed dancing with him and working out and hanging out late at night finishing a drama. He missed him. Jimin promised he’d be back to do all of those things. He promised.

He placed the notebook back under his pillow. The risk of Jaebum seeing his writing scared him, so any amount of hiding helped. His hands shook a little in the cold of the room, and he pulled the blanket up over his shoulders to keep warm. He hadn’t realized how cold it was before.

Sounds of the house settling filled his ears, Jaebum walking around, humming a song, the sound of Jimin’s growling stomach. Fuck, was he hungry. He edged out of the bed and stood on shaky, weak legs. The walk to the closet was short but tiring. How could he go on like this? He changed into comfortable jeans and a big sweater, trying to hide himself from Jaebum even thought he would probably know it was Jimin with his hood up, since no one else was there. There was a little bit of waiting for Jaebum to settle down, but Jimin didn’t know where. His eyes flicked to the window. He could try to open it, but in this state Jaebum could catch him. He didn’t even know where to go. He let out a huff of annoyance, bringing a shivering hand up to run through his hair only to push the hood down. He brought the hood back up, listening closely now. He just wanted some peace and safety. He exited the room as quietly as he could and entered his bathroom to examine his face.

Dark circles had appeared under his sickly skin. He looked like he lost some weight in the last few days, but that may be because of the placebo effect: he was convinced not working out and not eating would make him lose a lot of weight. At least he wasn’t throwing up anymore. He brushed a hand through his hair and grimaced. It was greasy from not showering properly. He should have one after breakfast, he decided.

Exiting the bathroom, he carefully made his way to the kitchen, stepping lightly as to not make a sound. The TV in the living room was on, an intense game of MySims Kingdom on it. Jaebum wasn’t even paying attention to him.

He entered the kitchen and breathed a sigh of relief, slipping his hood off his head. He felt safe when he knew Jaebum was preoccupied. Although, he felt safer in the bathroom, like it was his space, that Jaebum can’t touch him there, but the kitchen will have to do for now.

He opened the cupboards one by one and found a small bowl. In a drawer beside the sink was the spoon. In the pantry he found Honey Nut Cheerios. He tried to pour the cereal as quietly as he could, as well as the milk, but when he turned from the fridge after putting away the milk, he jumped at the sight of Jaebum leaning in the doorway with a soft smile on his face, making Jimin’s skin run cold.

“You’re up,” Jaebum commented. He eyed Jimin from head to toe.

“I guess I am,” Jimin replied. He crossed his arms in an attempt to be a bit intimidating. It didn’t work.

Jaebum snickered. “You going to eat?” He gestured to the bowl on the counter.

“Of course,” Jimin bit back. Jaebum’s eyebrow went up just the slightest and panic entered Jimin’s veins. He turned quickly and grabbed the bowl to break eye-contact with his kidnapper. The spoon shook a little in his hand, but he managed to take a bite of the cereal. A bit of milk trickled down to his chin slowly, unnoticed by him. Afraid of not knowing what Jaebum was doing, he turned. He was still in the doorway.

“You’ve got something-” he gestured vaguely to Jimin’s face, chuckling. “I’ll get it.” When he stepped forward it was as if an alarm went off in Jimin, telling him to run, but he stood his ground with a glare. His kidnapper stepped up so close that Jimin could see the tiniest bit of imperfections on his nose and cheeks, could feel body heat radiating from him like a furnace, could almost taste the puffs of breath resting on his face. Jaebum brushed his thumb along Jimin’s chin, collecting the white milk, studying Jimin’s lips like an anatomy professor. He let his thumb drag a bit along Jimin’s bottom lip. “So pretty,” he whispered softly. Jimin felt like his skin was burning with every touch, felt like tiny needles were stabbing into his skin repeatedly. He watched with caution as Jaebum lifted his thumb to his own mouth and sucked the milk off, eyes alight with something vaguely lust-like. To Jimin, it felt like he was a rabbit being watched by a fox. Jaebum ended up taking the spoon from Jimin’s hand and taking a bite himself. His predatory gaze locked with Jimin’s small, terrified eyes, and Jimin wanted to cry.

His hands fidgeted with the bowl as Jaebum took another spoonful and fed some to him.

“After we eat,” he began casually, “since you’re feeling better you can hang out with me on the couch. That okay, Minnie?”

_No,_ he wanted to say. “O-okay,” he mumbled instead. He stared down at the bowl while Jaebum continued to feed him, impossibly close. Jimin felt childish, as though Jaebum was asserting himself as dominant, like an alpha dog. It made Jimin’s stomach curl and the skin around his arms crawl. But he couldn’t move. He was frozen out of fear of what Jaebum could do.

When the bowl was empty, Jaebum put it in the sink and then pulled Jimin close.

“I can’t believe I have you, but then I see you standing here, in my kitchen, and I get so fucking happy. God, Jimin, you’re so stunning.” Jimin stood there, trying not to push him away, when Jaebum pushed his face into Jimin’s neck and breathed in deeply. “You smell so good, baby.” He nipped a little at the skin, and Jimin let out a tiny little shriek, finally breaking out of his frozen stupor and pushing at Jaebum’s sides, but it was no use since Jaebum had them flush against eachother. He could feel Jaebum smirk against his skin and how he kissed down to his collarbone.

Jimin started to stutter, trying to tell him to let go but the words wouldn’t come out. He pushed harder, but Jaebum held tighter. Jaebum kissed softly up his neck. The only sound was Jaebum suckling at his skin and Jimin’s strangled breathing. He started to cry.

Jaebum reached the corner of Jimin’s lips where he caught a stray tear on his tongue. He leaned back a little to bring a hand to Jimin’s cheek to brush the wet streaks away. Jimin did a little hiccup. He was so afraid. He kept his eyes clenched shut, teeth grating together. He only managed to breathe properly when Jaebum stepped.

“Come on,” he said sweetly. “Let’s go to the living room, Minnie.”

Jimin opened his eyes slowly, whole body shaking. He couldn’t cry. Not now. He’s cried enough for the both of them in the past few days. He rubbed his face with a sleeve and followed the taller man into the next room on shaky legs. Jaebum pulled him right into his lap, chest flushed to Jimin’s back and chin on his head, and started his game back up. All Jimin wanted to do was punch the man and make a run for it, but could he? Not in his current state. He couldn’t knock him out with how weak he felt, but even if he could, Jaebum would surely get to him first. He shivered when he thought of what Jaebum would do to him.

“Cold, baby?” Jaebum asked. He rubbed one of Jimin’s arms. “The heating hasn’t been working properly, sorry, but I can’t bring anyone up to fix it until I know you can be a good boy and behave.”

He hated the way Jaebum talked down to him.

“I’m not some kid,” he muttered. “Don’t talk to me like one.” Ballsy. Yoongi would high-five him right now.

“But you’re so cute, I can’t help it.” Jaebum laughed when he looked down to see a grimace on Jimin’s face. “Okay, i’ll try not to, Minnie.” He pinched Jimin’s cheek and laughed brightly. Reminded him of when Jin would do that.

He grimaced again at the thought of comparing his friend to this _monster_. He resented the man wrapped around him with every fiber of his being. But he was also so, so afraid. He struggled with an internal struggle of whether to move or not to move when Jaebum shifted and handed Jimin a wii remote.

“Want to play some Mario Kart?” he asked.

“Um, okay?” Fuck, what was he supposed to do? Should he just say fuck it and punch the guy and say that, no, he won’t play fucking Mario Kart with his kidnapper? Even if he wanted to, the damage was done, and he was going to play. Fuck.

Jaebum hummed. “Alright. Can you get off for a second, so I can change the game disc?”

He didn’t have to ask twice. Jimin shot up out of his lap like a firework, slightly dizzy from so fast a movement. Jaebum laughed at him, like this was somehow _amusing_ to him. Fuck him. He glared daggers at his kidnapper whilst his back was turned.

The game was switched, and Jimin could hear the “Mario Kart Wii!” from the speakers. Jaebum smiled at him and sat back down, pulling Jimin with him. He froze up at the contact.

“Alright, what character are you picking?” Jaebum asked, almost excitedly.

“Um,” Jimin began. He didn’t know. He randomly picked one, and it turned out to be Princess Peach. “This one.”

“Good choice,” Jaebum practically purred behind him. The first player cursor went over a character. “I’ll use Bowser.”

Jimin gulped. He didn’t miss the complete parallel of the situation: Jimin as Princess Peach, the kidnapped, and Jaebum as Bowser, the.... Kidnapper. He wanted to die.

“Okay, what course, baby?”

Every pet name felt like Jimin was being sliced open by ice.

“Rainbow Road.” Everyone got mad at that one. Surely he could get the courage to punch Jaebum then, right?

Jaebum hummed and picked it. Jimin readied himself, pressing the 2 button to drive as soon as the countdown was at 2. He quickly managed to rush ahead of Jaebum, and was in 1st place. He became so engrossed by the game that he didn’t notice how Jaebum purposefully never drew ahead, but he did notice as soon as he pressed his nose into Jimin’s hair.

“Dude, can you fuck off for just a second? I’m trying to concentrate here, and you’re distracting me.”

Jaebum seemed to make a satisfied sound, barely audible, and Jimin realized what he had said. The implications of his words. Fuck. He just wanted an excuse to tell Jaebum to fuck off, not imply any ways that he could be distracting. He fucked up.

“Sorry Minnie,” Jaebum apologized. His nose left Jimin’s hair but he could still feel the smirk.

His hands faltered a little, but he stuck in the lead through the track, and finished in 1st. Jaebum finished 5th. Jimin would have felt triumphant if not for the way Jaebum congratulated him and held him close to his chest. Jaebum turned Jimin’s head with his hand on his chin and looked into his eyes sickeningly lovingly.

“You’re stunning,” Jaebum complimented.

“You’re an asshole,” Jimin muttered. He tensed up, waiting for Jaebum to act out.

He didn’t. “Let you win, didn’t I?” He stole a tender kiss from Jimin. The awkward angle was making Jimin’s neck sore already. “Aw baby, don’t look so scandalized.” Jimin pushed at his shoulder when he pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You’re lucky it’s me that has you because if it had been anyone else, I assure you, you wouldn’t be playing Mario Kart and you definitely wouldn’t just have to kiss.”

“Don’t-” Jaebum interrupted his voice with a harsh kiss to his lips. It almost made Jimin literally choke on his words. When he pulled away his eyes were sweet and his smile was gentle and all Jimin could think was fuck _off_.

“Such a cutie,” Jaebum murmured, more to himself. He lets Jimin turn himself around, really uncomfortable with the situation, and started up another track. “Come on, less chatter, more racing.”

Jimin ended up playing with Jaebum until lunch. The whole time, he could feel Jaebum behind him. He was lucky enough to be able to forget for a few seconds every other minute and just enjoy himself, but it was always short-lived with the way Jaebum held him. But when it hit lunch and Jaebum stood up from behind him, Jimin wanted to cry from relief.

“Alright. What are you feeling for lunch?” Jaebum looked down at him expectantly.

“L-lunch?”

“Yeah, what do you want to eat, baby?”

“A-anything is fine.”

“Alright. Come on, you can watch.” Jaebum held out his hand.

Jimin stood from his seat on the couch on his own. He wasn’t a fucking baby. Fuck him. Jaebum stared for a second before shrugging and leading the way to the kitchen.

“I got really good Kraft Dinner, extra creamy. You like that, right? I bet you miss American food.” He sat Jimin in a chair at the small kitchen table before opening the pantry and sifting through it.

No, he fucking hated Kraft Dinner. “Yeah, I guess it’s okay,” he grumbled, chin in his hand. He watched as Jaebum pulled out a pot and begun boiling water. While he waited for the water to, well, boil, he sat across from Jimin and stared.

“You’re really pretty,” Jaebum mumbled, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “Did you know that?” Then he proceeded to cover his face with his hands and made a strangled cry. “You’re the prettiest out of everyone.”

Jimin continued to sit there and tried not to cringe at how awful the entire situation was. His eyes wandered around the room, desperately not making eye contact when Jaebum removed his hands and rested his chin on one, smiling whilst he stared at Jimin.

It took an awkward 4 minutes of Jaebum staring for the water to finally boil.

He got up from his seat and poured the pasta in, bringing the heat down a little.

“You know, when I have to go to work, you _could_ give me goodbye kisses. Just a thought.” His back was turned while he spoke.

Once he opened the cheese packet and got out the milk and butter, he turned back to Jimin.

“I like your eyes. And your hair. The pink is a nice touch, but I think I might like black better. Wait, have you tried blue yet? Or green? We could always try new colours and hairstyles. Tell you what, i’ll let you pick. Wait! How about red? You liked red, right? Because I loved it.” His hand stirred the pasta around as he continued to talk. “Honestly? You were so fucking hot in Dope. But you were also adorable with the orange hair! I think I like you better when you’re adorable. You know, big sweaters and all that.” He completed cooking the pasta, and drained the water into the sink. “You know, I had this friend who-” He froze.

Jimin narrowed his eyes. “Friend?”

Jaebum seemed to shake himself out of it. “Ah, well, yes. I did have a friend who would dye his hair. But we shouldn’t talk about that, should we?” He combined the final touches to the Kraft Dinner. “Alright! Lunch is served.”

A bowl was placed in front of Jimin, and Jaebum sat across from him with his own bowl. Jimin took a bite and tried not to grimace at the taste. Thankfully, he managed to finish it without throwing up all over Jaebum(though he would have liked to do that very much).

“Alright Minnie! I have a movie to show you. Come on, let’s go.” Without waiting, Jaebum had pulled Jimin up out of his seat by his arm and took him to the living room. Jimin had no choice but to follow.

Jaebum sat him down in his lap while he scrolled through Netflix. He adjusted himself to be at least somewhat comfortable, but how can someone do that in a stranger’s lap? Not even a stranger; their _kidnapper’s_ lap.

Jaebum found a movie and put it on, wrapping his arms tight around Jimin’s waist and breathing deeply in his neck. It made Jimin very uncomfortable. Jimin tried to focus on the movie, but that was hard when Jaebum was wrapped around him like that. He sat there, deeply irritated, and let Jaebum cuddle him while they watched whatever was going on.

Slowly, Jimin felt his eyes begin to fall, and he let them, craving a deep rest away from Jaebum and his situation. His exhaustion caught up to him, and then he was out.

 

 

The first thing Jimin felt around him was another person. He was obviously lying down. His mind was convinced he was in the dorms, and that it was Taehyung wrapped around him. He curled up into the other boy, tucking his head under Taehyung’s chin and tangling their legs together. Something was off about his friend. This person was larger than Taehyung.

_Definitely not Taehyung._

Everything rushed back to Jimin and he flung himself back off the couch, staring up at Jaebum with wide eyes.

His eyes blinked open and he looked down at Jimin, and smiled.

“Hey baby,” he murmured.

Jimin shot up quickly and started to walk away.

“Hey, wait- where are you going?”

He froze and said the first thing that came to mind. “Bathroom.”

Jaebum settled back down in the couch. “Okay. Get back soon, I want to cuddle.”

Jimin’s mouth tasted sour at that statement. He quickly left the room, and started down the hall, but stopped at Jaebum’s door. He had no doubt that he would be seeing it eventually, but he was curious, so he gripped the door handle and slowly turned it, opening it carefully and slowly, listening to the sounds of Jaebum turn on something else on Netflix. He entered the room and shut the door behind him, turning to see what the room looked like.

The first thing he noticed was the posters. They looked scattered on the walls, but there was no mistaking what they were all of.

Jimin.

Gulping, he looked around a little more. The wall to the right had a bookshelf with many books, and a desk with pencils and paper on it. Across from the door was a large bed, with a simple white blanket on it(he ignored the large poster just above it). The left wall had an open door leading into the bathroom. Jimin sighed at how bare the room looked, and decided to leave, when as he turned he noticed writing on a poster. In fact, now that he looked closer, he could see writing on all of the posters. He gulped, thinking the worst, and read what was written on one.

_Jimin!! Your voice is fantastic!_

He read some more, intrigued.

_How can you be both adorable and sexy at once?!_

_You’re too hard on yourself! One mistake in a dance is NOT the end of the world._

_Abs or flabs, you’re still Jimin. Impossibly human!_

_I wish you could see just how amazing you are._

Jimin’s breath caught at all the sincerity clear in the words. He couldn’t believe that someone would write so many things about him. Even with Jaebum, Jimin was stunned by the dedication of his love- infatuation. It’s infatuation.

“Lost?”

Jimin yelped and jumped back, staring wide-eyed at Jaebum, who had snuck into the room while Jimin was reading. He feared the worse for trespassing in his room.

Instead of yelling or being angry, Jaebum’s eyes softened and his face fell into something warm. “I wanted to show you this, but, ahh, it’s embarrassing.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away shyly.

Jimin felt the immediate reaction to reach out and comfort him, to tell him that no, he shouldn’t be embarrassed. But that was stupid. So he just stood there semi-awkwardly.

After a few moments, Jaebum looked up and smiled a little more. “I love you, you know that?”

Jimin paused before replying. “I, uh, love you too.”

Jaebum takes Jimin’s hand in his and squeezes their palms together, fingers interlocked. He led them out of his room, shutting the door, and back into the living room. Jaebum sat Jimin down on the couch and turned on How I Met Your Mother.

“Are you not sitting down?” Jimin asked, puzzled as to why he was still standing.

Jaebum shook his head. “Nah. I’m thinking of getting take-out for dinner.” He turned and began to leave the room, but stopped short of the door. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Jimin cringed internally at his words.

Jaebum snickered. “Good boy.”

The front door opened and closed, and Jimin relaxed, letting out a deep breath, and he laid down on the couch and shut his eyes. Maybe he could rest a bit before Jaebum got back and tormented him.

 

 

It felt like only a matter of seconds before Jimin’s eyes opened. The front door shut, and Jimin sighed internally.

“Guess what!”

Jimin looked up sleepily as Jaebum entered, happily carrying a bag of chinese take-out and a bottle of coke.

“I got an awesome deal! You like ginger beef, right? I _love_ the stuff.” He set the bag down on the coffee table and starting setting everything out.

Jimin sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. God, he was too tired for this shit. The sweater he was wearing was now hot and uncomfortable, and he just really wanted to go sleep in his own bed.

Jaebum leaned over while Jimin was looking around in a tired daze, and gave him a soft kiss to the top of his head. Jimin scowled up at him. Jaebum smiled in response and handed him chopsticks before leaving to grab glasses for the coke. He set them down on the table and poured the coke out equally into both of their cups. Jimin slowly lifted the chopsticks and poked around at the chicken balls before grabbing one and taking a bite out of it.

“Ah! Ow!” Jimin spat it into his hand when the searing heat met his tongue, and he licked his lips to get rid of the traces of the perpetrator.

“Shit, sorry, it’s hot.” Jaebum took the chicken ball from him and set it down on a napkin, grabbing Jimin’s coke and holding it up to him. Jimin took it gratefully and sipped at it, relishing in the cooling effect it had on his burnt tongue. “Are you okay?” Jimin turned to him and nodded, and jaebum let out a breath of relief. “Thank god. Jimin, you need to be more careful about this! I can’t have you getting hurt.” he pouted, and it was almost cute.

“I’ll be fine,” Jimin shrugged. He set the glass down and decided to go for the noodles instead for now. Jaebum rubbed his back soothingly and kissed his temple. Jimin was too engrossed in the food to care.

The two of them watched the show while eating, but it only took a few minutes for Jaebum to speak.

“After we eat, we can play Just Dance if you want,” he offered. Jimin looked at him in confusion. “It’s an American game. Yeah, I know, all of my shit is American, but it’s the best. I just came back from a trip to America recently, actually. Great place. Wait, yeah, you’ve been there before. Sorry.” He chuckled. “Anyways, it’s a really fun dancing game. I think you’d love it.”

Since Jimin had nothing else planned(other than leaving), he nodded. Jaebum looked excited, and thankfully continued to eat, not talking until the two of them were done.

The food was delicious, as usual, and Jimin forced himself to just enjoy this, because they barely had time to get take-out during comebacks. The coke added a nice touch. He could finally eat the chicken balls, but not without Jaebum looking concerned every time he took one.

Finally, they were both done, and Jaebum moved the table out of the way and started up the game on the Wii. the first song he put on was Satisfaction, and he handed Jimin a remote.

Honestly, the game was tiring. Jimin found the cheat of just moving his hand quickly, but he went all out anyways. He hadn’t even realized they had gone through a few songs already. Jaebum was laughing and smiling, and Jimin found himself smiling, too.

“Isn’t this fun?” Jaebum asked when they went on a short coke break. Jimin shrugged nonchalantly, sipping his drink. It had been a awhile since he danced. Or had it? He couldn’t be too sure.

“You know what would make this funner?”

“Uh, no?”

Jaebum leaned in close. “Drinks!” He sprang from the room like a man on a mission, and Jimin found himself scoffing like Jaebum was a little kid. Jaebum returned with a few coolers, and handed Jimin one. He opened it with the bottle opener and took a sip. It was sweet, like strawberry. He liked it. Jaebum watched him drink before taking a sip of his own. They danced some more, taking drinks between dances, and Jimin started to feel like he was outside his body, and he actually laughed when Jaebum tripped over his own two feet. They were unable to finish any dances after that.

At one point in the night, Jimin checked the time. 11:46PM. It was really late, but Jaebum insisted that he continue drinking.

“It’s fun! It makes you forget all about your, ah, problems with me,” he said. He winked at Jimin and kissed him sweetly. Jimin felt himself sway a little, and he pulled away to take a big gulp. He needed to be way more drunk to stand kissing Jaebum. Said man had put on some music at one point, and started to move himself and Jimin around in a mock-waltz. He kissed Jimin again, and held him close. Jimin shut his eyes and pretended it was someone else there.

It was hard to do when all he could smell or taste was Jaebum. It scared him that he already knew that Jaebum smelled like the ocean, and that he tasted sweet and bitter all at once. He forced himself not to think about this, and to lose himself to the sway of the music as the time turned to 12.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the wonderful comments guys!!


	5. Your Love Leaves Me Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What are we doing here?  
> Why have we come?  
> Did we come for communion,  
> Under the tongue?"  
> \- _Under The Tongue by Damien Rice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the plans for this chapter was half a page. this chapter took 9 pages. and i have chapters planned over 1 full page-2 full pages. im not ready to write those
> 
> oh god i have to update the tags bc looking at my plans there is So Much Bad Stuff that jaebum talks abt/attempts to do(spoiler alert: jaebum has problems)
> 
> i love all of your comments omg
> 
> im sorry theres sm chapters that you're gonna have to sit through. if it helps, ive already got the ending planned, and i also have ideas for a sorta companion piece where we see what the members had thought abt the whole time, and the aftermath of everything(also maybe a companion piece of all the letters jm wrote bc, while theyre explained, u dont actually get to read them)

Day 5  
Monday, January 16th

The sun had barely risen when Jimin next opened his eyes. He was in his bed in the room he was given, with no recollection of how he got there. He moved his arm to rub his eyes but stopped when he found he was unable to. Turning his head to the side, he froze when he saw Jaebum. Their eyes met. Time seemed to still before Jaebum smiled gently.

“You’re so pretty, even when asleep,” he murmured. His gaze traveled along Jimin’s face for a second before returning to his eyes. He brushed his fingers along Jimin’s cheek, down to his jaw. His thumb caught on Jimin’s lip and he leaned in to give a small peck. Jimin forced himself not to cringe away.

When Jimin finally began to comprehend what was happening, he pulled away suddenly, forcing his arm out from under Jaebum to sit up. Panic filled his mind when he realized that he had _no recollection of going to bed._ He threw the blankets off of himself to see that he had been changed into a white T-shirt and boxers. His mind kept coming up with different scenarios of what happened, and none of them good.

“Shit, what- what-” He breathed hard and fast, near hyperventilating.

Jaebum put a hand on his shoulder to calm him down, gently guiding him to lay back down. “Hey, hey, shh. It’s okay, Minnie. You’re alright.” His gaze was soft.

“What happened last night?” Jimin asked. His throat felt sore, and unshed tears blurred his vision.

“Don’t worry, I only put you into more comfortable clothes to sleep in. I promise you I didn’t touch you. You were tired so I brought you to bed, and since I was tired, too, I decided to join you. See? It’s okay.” He brushed away a stray tear with his thumb, a reassuring smile on his face.

Jimin nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. Nothing happened. He’s okay. He let out a sigh before burying his face into the pillow.

Jaebum chuckled, his hand moving from Jimin’s face to ruffle his hair. “So cute. You can sleep in, okay? It’s only 6.” Jimin nodded again. He felt Jaebum press a kiss to his temple before settling back down.

Jimin let his mind wander until the darkness of sleep overcame him. It felt like only a moment, but when he next opened his eyes, the spot next to him was empty, and even with the blinds closed, he could tell that the sun was high in the sky. There was a note on the pillow that read _”Gone to work. Help yourself to anything you want. Love you!”_ Jimin let out a huff of probably annoyance, maybe disgust, and ripped the paper in half. He let the pieces fall to the bed before brushing them off onto the floor.

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took his journal out, wanting to write something before getting out of bed. He thought about who to write to. He missed everyone. He thought of them, and the image of Namjoon was prominent, so he wrote.

He told Namjoon that, of course, he missed him, and that he wanted to go home. His bottom lip quivered as he wrote those words down, but he bit his teeth in to keep the tears from spilling. He continued, writing that he was probably lucky that Jaebum thought he was in love, otherwise he wouldn’t be too nice. Satisfied that he had written something down, he got up and stretched, back popping deliciously. He felt as though he’d finally gotten over the first few days of anxiety, sickness, and fear, so he took his time making sure none of his muscles felt stiff. He had a minor headache, but that was fine. He was okay.

Seeing as it was around noon, he exited the room and entered the hallway. Still as eery as always. He entered the bathroom and made sure to wash his face of any greasiness. Examining closer, there were dark bags under his eyes which he frowned at. Hopefully Jaebum wouldn’t reprimand him for being tired constantly, though he wouldn’t put it past him.

The walk to the kitchen was quick, and he flitted around, pouring himself cereal and milk. Without his kidnapper to disturb him, he ate peacefully, shoulders relaxed for once. It didn’t take long for him to finish eating.

Now what? The past few days had been spent with near constant sickness and anxiety, so now that he felt alright, boredom was setting in. What was he going to do with Jaebum gone for the day?

What day even was it?

He approached the calendar under the clock and furrowed his eyebrows. The day Jimin was kidnapped had been marked with a blue heart drawn around it. There were also days marked as ‘work’, along with times written down. This surprised Jimin because some days were blank. Didn’t he have to work a lot? Maybe not. He sighed deeply when he realized he wouldn’t be able to tell the date by just staring at the calendar, so he took to wandering into the living room. Knowing he couldn’t really try to escape, he settled down into the couch and crossed his arms. His reflection in the TV was reminiscent of a moody teen. He bit the inside of his cheek and leaned forward to turn it on when he heard the lock on the door click, and his blood ran cold.

Ah, _there_ was his anxiety.

He quickly sat up straight and stared at the doorway, waiting. He heard someone enter the house, then the footsteps to the doorway, then Jaebum walked right by.

“Jimin?” he called out. A door opened and closed, then the footsteps hurriedly rushed to the living room. Jimin gulped harshly on nothing when their eyes met, and Jaebum’s frantic gaze smoothed out. “Ah, jimin, there you are.” He entered the room. “Gave me quite a fright! Didn’t even know you were here.” Jimin glared hard at him as he approached the couch. “Come on then, baby, stand up.” Jimin rolled his eyes and stood, silently praising himself for not losing his cool.

_You can do this._

“Give me a kiss, baby.”

Jimin’s face scrunched up into disgust on instinct, but he forced his face to fall flat into neutrality again. He gave Jaebum a small smile(more of a grimace, really) and he leaned in to peck Jaebum quickly. Before he could fully pull away, Jaebum grabbed his face with gentle fingers and guided him back for a slightly longer kiss. Jimin was surprised when there was no bile to come up his throat. He pulled back and Jaebum patted his head affectionately.

“Good boy,” he cooed. Jimin had to grit his teeth to not come up with a biting remark, like, “ _I’m not a fucking dog._ ” Jaebum gently pushed him down onto the couch, then sat with him, arm around his shoulders and grabbing the room in his other hand.

Jimin watched as he pulled up Netflix, and saw countless shows and movies spin by before Jaebum put on some show that Jimin didn’t care to remember the name of. He was pulled to settle back against the couch, and was guided to lay his head on Jaebum’s shoulder.

“I had a boyfriend, once, a while ago,” Jaebum began. His breathing seemed to go off of his rhythm a tiny bit, to Jimin’s surprise. “He- well, a lot of the time, he hit me. When he was angry, sad, happy, he just- he kept hitting-” The next breath he took was like a shudder running through his body, and Jimin subconsciously let one of his hands rest on his knee reassuringly. Jaebum buried his face into Jimin’s hair and breathed in deeply. It took a second for him to calm down, and Jimin felt sorry for him. “Baby, I love you. My old boyfriend, he never told me this, so I need you to know that, okay?” He put his free hand on the one on his knee, which brought Jimin’s attention to the fact that he had rested it there to comfort him, and he silently reprimanded himself for doing so. Jaebum picked up his hand and linked their fingers together. “I need you to feel loved. You deserve so much love, Jimin.” He moved so that they were facing each other, and Jimin was shocked to see the seriousness on his face. “I love you. You feel loved, right?”

Jimin nodded slowly, heart hammering in his chest because Jaebum’s grip on his hand had suddenly tightened and his gaze became unreadable. The smile that spread left a disgusting feeling in Jimin’s stomach.

“Good.”

Jaebum latched his mouth onto Jimin’s, pressing forward in a harsh kiss that left Jimin feeling breathless and afraid. Jimin summoned all of the strength he could in his arms, and pushed Jaebum away forcefully. “Fuck off,” he spat, and then the light in Jaebum’s eyes changed. He lifted his left hand and a harsh smack sounded throughout the room, Jimin’s face turned to the side, a stinging in his right cheek. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he slowly turned back towards Jaebum, touching the hot and tender skin lightly. Jaebum’s eyes softened.

“Shit, i’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to.” He pulled Jimin in for a hug, holding his head to his chest. “Shh. I’m so sorry. Minnie, please forgive me. I’ll make it up to you. Do you need ice/ I can get you some ice.” He pulled away, petting Jimin’s hair and dropping a kiss to his forehead before he’s out of the room and Jimin can hear him rummaging through the freezer.

Jimin took a deep, shuddering breath, willing his tears away. He can’t cry, not again.

Jaebum entered the room then with a bag of ice and a cloth, and then he lays Jimin down on the couch, resting his head in his lap, putting the bag of ice in the cloth and then on the red cheek. Jimin probably didn’t need ice, but he closed his eyes anyways, letting Jaebum pet through his hair. The sound of the TV filtered into Jimin’s head, but he couldn’t recognize what was on. He could still feel himself shake with distant sobs that would have wracked through his body, and he knew if he had cried he would be choking on his own spit, but he wasn’t and he was okay and Jaebum slapped him but he was still okay and Jaebum couldn’t change that.

He was okay.

Thunder cracked loudly in the sky overhead, and Jimin jumped where he lay, eyes popping open just as the lights flicker and die out. The sound of the TV drops like a pop, and then all Jimin can hear is the rain, and it’s so dark that as another bought of thunder sounds, a chill rolls down his back so suddenly he leaps from his spot on the couch and dives down onto the ground, shielding his face from the impending darkness.

A hand slides down his back comfortingly, and Jimin is reminded of the time when the first thunderstorm had rolled over the dorms. He was sitting with Taehyung and Jungkook in the living room, drowsily looking through their phones, when the thunder boomed in his ears and the darkness consumed him. Back then, he hadn’t dived for the ground, but instead jumped right into Jungkook’s arms as the younger chuckled and comfortingly ran his hand down his back, just like now. Except now, Jimin was on the ground being comforted by Jaebum. He almost laughed at the contrast of how fucked up his situation was when thunder once again cracked, and he let out a low whine.

“Jimin, hey, you’re okay. It’s just some rain. It can’t hurt you.”

“That’s not the problem,” Jimin bit back harshly. He froze at the sound of his own voice. It was raised and gravelly, and he realized that tears were gathering in his hands closed over his eyes.

He could feel Jaebum settle in the ground in front of him. “Okay, then what is it? Tell me, please. I want to help you.” His voice sounded patient, a stark contrast to the same words he received from others who were just exasperated with his state.

He shook his head.

“Is it the dark? I can light some candles, okay? Jimin, please sit up so I can talk to you.”

Reluctantly, Jimin complied. He could barely see Jaebum’s face amidst the darkness, and Jimin had the audacity to internally question why the fuck the windows weren’t open.

“Okay, so you’re not afraid of being hurt, right? Is the thunder just too loud?”

Jimin shrugged. He couldn’t find his voice.

The sigh Jaebum let out wasn’t impatient, but it did make Jimin feel insignificant to him, as though his fears of the dark and loud sounds and _him_ didn’t matter.

“Alright. Come with me, we can light some candles. I also have earplugs if you need them.” He picked up the discarded bag of ice and stood, reaching out a hand to pull Jimin up too.

Jimin stumbled a bit on his shaky legs, but managed to follow Jaebum to the kitchen where he placed the bag of ice back into the freezer, leaving the cold cloth on the counter. He stroked the top of Jimin’s hand with his thumb.

“You’re okay, Jimin.” He wiped at Jimin’s face with his free hand and Jimin saw the stray tears glistening on his hand. Even with the lack of light, the lightening flashed through from the slits in the curtain in the living room and into the kitchen, and Jimin could see the absolute care on Jaebum’s face.

Jimin nodded and then Jaebum led him back into the living room, pulling out two candles from a drawer in the TV stand. He handed one to Jimin, and then pulled out a lighter from his pocket, lighting the candles and bathing them both in a soft light.

Jimin stared at the flame. It certainly was beautiful, and with the sound of rain pounding on the house in the background was almost calming. His eyes flitted from the small flame to Jaebum’s face, who was looking at him so softly, face almost as warm as the flame. Jaebum smiled gently and leaned over the candles to peck Jimin’s lips. The warmth of the flame ghosted under his chin, and as he closed his eyes he felt like he was floating. The brush of lips against his moved to press against his cheek, and he subconsciously leaned in.  
Then thunder boomed and lightning flashed, and Jimin flinched where he was standing. Jaebum’s hand reached out to quickly hold onto Jimin’s shoulder, as though to steady him. He let out a soft chuckle.

“Alright, let’s find something to eat, okay?”

Jimin nodded and followed Jaebum into the kitchen. The low light was comforting amongst the darkness. He watched as Jaebum took out items to make some simple sandwiches. His kidnapper frowned when he looked in the fridge.

“Hopefully the electricity isn’t out for too long. Don’t want the milk to spoil.” He took out cheese, mustard, and lettuce, and then began to wash the lettuce.

“Jaebum,” Jimin began. The other hummed to acknowledge he heard(Jimin tried to ignore the large smile spreading over his face). “What, um, what do you do? For work, I mean.”

Jaebum shrugged, placing the lettuce on a cutting board next to some tomato. “I don’t think that should concern you.”

“Well, you seem to know so much about me already, right? I figured I should know more about you, too-”

“You know about my ex. That should be enough.” His face had fallen, and his tone was low. Jimin gulped and looked down at the candle in his lap, watching a bit of wax drip down the side before immediately cooling.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

The sounds of cutting paused as Jaebum approached Jimin and crouched down in front of him. “It’s okay. I know you’re just curious.” He took the candle from Jimin’s hands to place it on the table before tilting Jimin’s chin to force their eyes to meet. His voice was gentle as he spoke, “Try not to worry too much about me, okay? It’s a good job. It’s so disconnected from the idol world that nobody would be able to trace anything back to us. Nobody will find you.”

Jimin’s blood froze, and he tried not to let the panic show on his face. “O-okay,” he breathed.

Jaebum patted his leg reassuringly. “I’ll get back to lunch then. Sit tight, baby.”

Jimin watched him get back to work. Jaebum’s job wasn’t important to him. What was important was getting out of there.

It wasn’t too long before a plate was placed in front of him, with a big sandwich on top. Jaebum sat opposite of him and stared, waiting for Jimin to take the first bite. He licked his lips before raising the sandwich to his mouth and taking a big bite. His mouth felt dry when the bread hit, but he forced himself to swallow, smile, and thank Jaebum for the meal. Jaebum’s eyes shone with infatuation.

“I’m glad you like it!” He began to eat his, too.

Just as Jimin finished, the lights flickered back on. Jaebum looked pleased at this.

“Would you look at that! The lights are back on!” He blew out the candles and brought them into the living room while Jimin got up to gather the plates and put them in the dishwasher, trying to be on Jaebum’s ‘nice’ side. When jimin entered the living room, Jaebum enveloped him in a big hug, squeezing him tightly. “I love you,” he murmured.

“Yeah, love you too,” Jimin replied, face scrunched in disgust. He wiped it off when Jaebum pulled away to press a kiss to his cheek, then his nose, and then his lips.

“God, you’re perfect.” He pulled Jimin over to the couch, sitting him on his lap. He ran his hands up and down Jimin’s sides, stopping at his hips. “You’re gorgeous, Minnie. Everything about you. When I first saw you, I knew I had to have you, and now I do, and i’m the luckiest man in the world.”

“That makes me the unluckiest,” Jimin muttered bitterly. Jaebum’s smile faltered. So much for being on his good side. He scolded himself internally. _Get a goddamn filter, Jimin._

“It’s only been a few days. You’ll learn.” Jaebum’s voice was lowered, as though he was talking to himself. One of his hands took a hold of Jimin’s shirt and pulled him down so that he could mouth at his jawline.

A cold shiver trickled down his spine, and he felt the biggest urge to pull away, but he held steady. He needed to stay composed, keep his head on, don’t disappoint his kidnapper-

Jaebum’s other hand moved down to gently cup his ass.

Jimin let out a sound caught between a terrified shriek and a gargled “stop”. He pushed himself backwards, off of Jaebum’s lap, but he miscalculated the fall and as his back hit the ground, the back of his head hit the table harshly. He groaned at the pain, holding the spot tightly, tears welling up in his eyes. He will _not_ cry over this, damnit. He fought the tears as hard as he could. Through his slitted eyes he could see Jaebum sitting above him, eyeing him almost curiously, face blank. Jimin rolled to the side when the agony started spreading down his back and to the front of his head.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “Goddamnit, shit, _fuck_.”

“That’s quite a hit you took.”

“No shit, sherlock.”

Jaebum rose from the couch, and the sound of his footsteps got farther away. Jimin didn’t care. It fucking hurt. Jimin managed to roll onto his knees, the feeling of the pain crushing his head. He didn’t want to pull his hands away for fear they would come back red and sticky. Was he bleeding? Shit, what if he was. Maybe if it was bad enough Jaebum would have to take him into a hospital. Would he risk that?

When Jaebum returned it was with a _tsk_ and the bag of ice. He pulled Jimin’s hands away and applied the bag to the bump forming on the back of his head.

“Be more careful, Jimin,” he scolded.

“Yeah, sure, next time you try to touch my ass i’ll try not to hit my head on the fucking coffee table-”

“Watch your tongue.” Jaebum harshly grabbed Jimin’s hair in his other hand and pulled his head back, applying more pressure with the ice. Jimin let out a small cry of pain as his eyes blinked open. Jaebum looked angry. “I don’t think you realize your position here, Jimin. Maybe you don’t need food tonight.”

“But-”

“I can’t believe I have to treat you like a literal _child_ , Jimin. Go to your room. Think about what you’ve done. And don’t be a dick about it. If you slam your door I will not hesitate to take you.” Then his eyes softened. “I love you, but you need to stop acting out. Take the ice and go.”

Jimin snatched the bag from his hand and stood. The pain made him a little dizzy, but he managed to walk all the way to his room. He shut the door gently then threw himself onto his bed. He cried, but he didn’t care.

Everything felt so fucked up. How could Jaebum go from praising him to threatening to-

No. He can’t think of that. He needed to stop the anxiety and fear bubbling in his stomach, not add fuel to the fire. He groaned into the pillow. How was he going to get out of this mess?

He didn’t know how long it took, but eventually, he fell into a light sleep, ice bag being thrown to the ground as he tossed and turned. Sometimes, he woke up, but he quickly fell back again. When he finally checked the time, it was around 6PM, which didn’t make him feel any better. His stomach was growling, and his throat was parched, but he wasn’t allowed to eat. Maybe he’d grab a midnight snack, after Jaebum had fallen asleep. He couldn’t go through with the plan, however, because he failed to stay up long enough to walk the time go by.

As he slept, he could not notice Jaebum walking in around 9 with a plate of cheese and crackers, and a glass of water.

He didn’t wake up until the next morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: yet another based on a damien rice song  
> theres sm  
> also i have a spotify playlist for this now but not all the songs i use for the chapters are there so now its just a "what song perfectly describes day by day" kind of playlist. maybe ill share it, maybe not. ;)


	6. Fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you leave me now  
> It's not that I can't take it  
> It's just that somehow  
> I think you'd break it"  
> \- _Fool by Damien Rice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for Chapter: self-harm mention, someone threatens suicide
> 
> this chapter was shorter when i first wrote it but i added the nightmare that was supposed to be in the next chapter. also pls dont threaten sui to get someone to stay with you this is an Unhealthy Thing. jaebum does it bc hes an asshole. and its not like jimin can go anywhere
> 
> writing this fic makes me realize why all fics are written a certain way bc this is everyday for jimin whereas a regular version of this, all these scenes would take place days later?? or smth idk

Day Six  
Tuesday, January 17th  
10:14AM

It was barely past 10AM when Jimin’s stomach woke him up with a painful growl. When he couldn’t ignore it any longer, he decided he needed food. Now.

He sat up slowly. His head still hurt from the fall the night before, and he tenderly felt the lump that formed. It wasn’t too bad, he thought. His eyes felt crusty from crying. The amount of times he had cried over the past week had to be more than he cried in last year. He quickly wiped at his eyes to try to get rid of the icky feeling on his face. When he felt a little better, he looked over at the side table to see a plate of cheese and crackers. His eyes widened and he gratefully started shoving his face full of the food. He was so _hungry_ , it was awful. Crumbs fell to the bed, but he could care less about manners. Jaebum could deal with cleaning up.

Once he finished, he had the nagging feeling that something was missing. His shoulders slumped and his mood dropped. It felt like the weight of the world was suddenly crushing down on him.

He missed BTS. All he wanted to do was run to them, into their arms, and hold them tight. His hands clenched the blanket tight as tears welled up into his eyes. He wanted his friends, his _family_

He took out the journal and paused. He wanted to write so badly. He needed BTS to know that he misses them. He pressed the pencil down to the paper and sighed deeply. Maybe he should write to one of them, so that nobody gets left out in the end. He bit his quivering bottom lip and started writing to Taehyung, about how much he misses him and his cuddles. Every night when he goes to sleep he hopes one of them would just show up and hold him and tell him it’ll be okay. By the end of it he was a blubbering mess, throwing the journal aside to curl up into a ball and sob into his legs.

He calmed himself down enough to drink the glass of water beside him, trying to replenish the water that had leaked from his eyes. His throat felt scratchy now. When the glass was empty, he placed it next to the plate and stood, stretching his arms above his head, shoulders and back popping. A bath would help his shitty mood.

He grabbed some comfy looking sweatpants and shirt, and entered the bathroom, making sure the door was shut all the way. He didn’t bother looking in the mirror, and instead opted to start the bath, pouring bubbles in. He stripped himself of last night’s clothes and got in, the water already nice and warm. He didn’t let himself relax fully until the water was to a desirable height. Then, he layed back and let the water and bubbles wash over him, relishing in the heat of the water as it soothed his muscles.

Warmth seeped in, hot enough to be a distraction from the place. He never could get a relaxing bath living with six other boys and having a tightly packed schedule. If he did, it was a rare enough occurrence that one of the others in the maknae line would immediately get in with him(uncomfortable and awkward, but Taehyung and Jungkook didn’t care). The times he got alone were few and far between. Until he got out of this place, he could act like this was a mini vacation from work. With a man who wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

Basically a vacation.

When the water started to cool, and the bubbles were growing smaller, and his fingers got pruney, he emptied the tub and got out. He toweled himself dry, then put on the sweatpants and T-shirt, taking his old clothes and leaving outside the laundry ‘room’. Looking around the house, it seemed as though Jaebum had left. Jimin thanked whoever let him have the place alone, but it was all in vain when he heard the door unlock and his heart sank.

Jaebum entered the hallway, his face contorted in sadness and despair. His shoulders were slumped. He looked how Jimin felt. Seeing Jimin made his face light up a little.

“Jimin,” he whispered. His feet dragged on the carpet as he walked forward, and Jimin resisted the urge to back away. “You won’t believe who I saw.”

“Who?” Jimin asked skeptically.

“My ex.” Jaebum wrapped his arms around Jimin and squeezed his eyes tight. “Fuck, it was _horrible_. Seeing him after so long reminded me of how he made me feel like I wasn’t enough for him.” He shook a little, and Jimin could tell he was holding back sobs. Jimin patted his back awkwardly. “He was so _mean_. At the time, I had to- I hurt myself a lot. It would never hurt as much as his disappointed gaze when he saw those scars-” Jimin froze. “I don’t know what to do. I love you. I hope you won’t end up like him. I love you.” Jaebum leaned back to look him in the eye, tears welled up in his eyes, a threatening gaze in them. “If you don’t love me, then I- then I-” He shuddered. “I’d have no reason to be clean, you know?”

Jimin’s blood ran cold and his eyes widened. Did Jaebum just threaten to harm himself if Jimin didn’t love him? That was harsh. But with the way Jaebum’s face fell, and the way he was pulling away, Jimin grabbed onto him to stop him from leaving. “No! No- you- you don’t have to do that. I love you, okay? No reason to harm yourself if I love you, right?” His voice was shaky, high-pitched. He hoped Jaebum believed him. He couldn’t deal with being the cause of someone else’s self-harm-

Jaebum smiled. “I love you, too.” Then he tilted his head, gaze darkening. “Jimin, did you love anyone before me?”

“I loved BTS, but not- not the way you love me. N-not the way I love you-”

Jaebum’s hands grabbed onto Jimin’s shoulders tight. “If I find out you had feelings for _anyone_ before me, well, who’s to say you won’t still have feelings? I have to be the only one you love, Jimin. If not, I just might kill myself.” He said it with a shrug, so nonchalantly that it left a sour taste in Jimin’s mouth. “Wouldn’t _that_ be bad? I mean, you wouldn’t be able to leave, and you’d have to ration your food, then you’ll starve-”

“I love you, only you, please stop talking about this, I _promise_ you’re the only one I ever loved, and ever _will_ love!” Jimin started to get delirious with his fear. “Please don’t kill yourself, please don’t-”

Jaebum tugged him in for a kiss, and Jimin let him. Jaebum tilted his head a little to deepen it. His hands moved to grip Jimin’s head to stop him from pulling back. Their lips moved against eachother a little breathlessly, with Jaebum leading and Jimin following. Just like the first time, Jimin felt sick, but more so because he was letting this happen.

After what felt like hours, Jaebum pulled back to breathlessly laugh in the space between their mouths, forehead against Jimin’s. “You really do love me,” he murmured, thumbs brushing the skin between Jimin’s lobes and jaw. He looks at Jimin, studying his face, before pulling him into the living room to cuddle on the couch. He lays his head on Jimin’s chest and encourages him to pet his hair. Jimin complies, if only so he had something to do while Jaebum’s words rang in his ears.

_You really do love me._

Jimin couldn’t get it out of his head, even as Jaebum fell asleep on him. Why would Jaebum think that? Yeah, he wanted Jaebum to be convinced because he doesn’t want somebody’s blood on his hands, but the words had shocked him through to his core. He didn’t love Jaebum. He didn’t. He would never love him, plain and simple. But why was he still stuck on his words?

 

 

Jimin woke up when Jaebum shifted from where he lay. His kidnapper lifted his head and sleepily smiled at him.

“Good nap?” he asked with a yawn. Jimin nodded silently. Jaebum patted his cheek affectionately. “Good, good. You hungry?” Jimin nodded again, to which Jaebum frowned at, but didn’t address. “Let’s go to the kitchen, shall we?”

Jimin was getting tired of eating sandwiches, but he _was_ hungry, so it wouldn’t hurt to eat some more. Unless Jaebum was trying to poison him, in which case, if it got Jimin away from there, he wasn’t really complaining.

When Jimin was finished, he got up to leave, but then Jaebum pulled him in for a hug, breathing in deeply as he buried his head in the crook of Jimin’s neck. Jimin shut his eyes tight and forced himself to relax in Jaebum’s arms.

“I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too.”

Jaebum pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek then let him go, turning to clean the kitchen up. Jimin stared at him for a second before leaving. He felt lightheaded. He felt... warm.

He hated it and hated himself and wanted to go home.

He ended up curled on his bed, staring at the wall, listening to the sounds of Jaebum cleaning the place. He wanted to go home.

It didn’t take long for Jimin to fall into a restless sleep.

 

 

Jimin looked up at the sky, admiring the fluffy clouds above. The sky was a bright blue, and he could see some shapes in the clouds. He felt really happy and warm, and he looked at his companions with a big smile on his face. Yoongi was to his left, and Jungkook was to his right. The three were holding hands as they walked through Seoul.

“I love you guys,” Jimin told them, leaning over to press a kiss to their cheeks. He squeezed their hands tight. Then he looked forward, and the tightness moved from his hands to his chest.

Jaebum was walking towards them.

Jungkook was gone, so Jimin turned to Yoongi to warn him. Instead of speaking, he kissed Yoongi, right in front of Jaebum.

“I thought you loved me,” Jaebum cried out. He separated the both of you, keeping ahold of Yoongi and dragging him onto the street. “I told you I would do this.”

Jimin reached out, trying to get to them, but his feet moved slow. Too slow. He was barely moving. It was a deep contrast to the way the train was coming through the street, right towards where Yoongi and Jaebum were standing.

“No!” Jimin screamed. “I don’t love Yoongi! I only love you!”

Jaebum turned, face contorted with sadness. “Then why won’t you kiss me?”

 

Jimin clutched at his chest, breathing hard, feeling like he ran ten miles. He couldn’t get the image out of his head of Yoongi and Jaebum slamming into the front of the train, the blood splattering everywhere, the feeling of his heart getting ripped out at the scene. It felt so real- too real. He stood quickly from the bed, wiping his cheeks dry of tears. The darkness of the room was suffocating him. He couldn’t see anything, couldn’t tell where he was, felt like Yoongi had really died-

He blinked at the sudden flash of bright light in the room, looking up to see a worried Jaebum in the doorway next to the light switch.

“Jimin?” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

Jimin just sobbed into his hands out of relief, because if Jaebum was okay, _Yoongi_ was okay. Jaebum walked over and knelt down next to the trembling boy. He rubbed his back comfortingly, pulling him into his arms and pressing kisses to his head.

“You’re okay, Jimin. It was just a dream. You’re okay. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

“D-don’t-” Jimin sobbed. He couldn’t finish his words, _don’t kill Yoongi_.

“Shh, shh,” Jaebum shushed him. “You’re okay, baby, you’re okay.”

“The train- it hit- it hurts- _fuck_.” Jimin sobbed into Jaebum’s shirt, grabbing onto it.When Jimin’s sobs died down, he started to sing a sweet lullaby, trying to lull him back to sleep. Jimin let his eyes drift shut to his kidnapper’s soothing voice, allowing himself to relax comfortably into his arms, falling back to sleep with ease, the images of Yoongi and Jaebum dying fading from his mind.

Jaebum pressed another kiss to his temple when he finished, standing up and carefully laying them both on the bed. He wiped at Jimin’s cheeks, pecking his lips, then brought the blanket up to cover them both, snuggling in next to Jimin. He admired the other’s face, and how pretty it was. The smile that graced his lips was small and sweet when Jimin made a little sound. Cute. Jaebum didn’t know how he would live without this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all the feedback!! im always nervous when i write a new chapter bc im worried i'll write smth weird so im always writing notes in my outline asdfghjkl
> 
> i take so long with these chapters because after i write i cant edit it right away bc the whole mood kinda brings me down but like im adding more mushy stuff too bc tbh jaebum is a hopeless romantic in this. and by mushy stuff i mean "uwu jimin u have to love me bc i give u FOOD and smooches". i also have a lot of requests from my blog on tumblr for reader inserts so those need to be done.
> 
> also! im working on a very intricate fic for bts thatll have its own lil world and worldbuilding is a PAIN but its sm fun!! itll be ulpoaded way after this fic is done tho bc i cant keep everything running. and i might redo kps:fn bc theres sm mistakes and im unhappy with it and embarrassed by it omg.
> 
> i want to advertise that i need a beta for all these fics(or multiple betas) but im also like. confused by the whole process and idk who'd want to do it asdfg


	7. Older Chests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Like time, there's always time  
> On my mind  
> So pass me by, I'll be fine  
> Just give me time"  
> \- _Older Chests by Damien Rice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a warning here((might be spoiler-ish but come one we know jaebum is an asshole)): manipulation, forced drinking participation, and abuse((??))
> 
> otherwise, have fun ;^)
> 
> ((apologies if there's any mistakes !! i just got into writing this))

Day Seven  
Wednesday, January 17th

Surprisingly, as Jimin was curled up on his bed, Jaebum holding him from behind, no more nightmares had occurred, and Jimin had slept pleasantly. As Jimin blinked open his eyes, he couldn’t help but find comfort in the warmth bleeding into his back. It took him a few seconds to realized this was _Jaebum_ and he shouldn’t be a comfort. Still, the hand on his stomach was already lulling him back to sleep, along with the soft breath on the back of his neck. He shut his eyes. Maybe if he could fall back asleep, it would be okay. This wouldn’t mean anything. He wasn’t feeling comfortable around Jaebum. He _wasn’t_.

Jaebum moved a little behind him, bringing his back closer to his chest. Jimin could feel the way Jaebum tangled their legs together lazily. He held his breath when Jaebum’s hand moved slightly, accidentally touching the skin of his stomach as his shirt rose up a bit. At this feeling of skin on skin, an uncomfortable frustration overcame his body, and he shivered slightly in Jaebum’s grasp. Unsurprisingly, this woke him.

“Mornin’, baby,” he slurred into Jimin’s ear. He pressed a kiss just behind it. “You sleep okay?”

“Y-yeah.” He took a deep breath to calm his nerves.

“That’s good.” Jaebum stretched where he lay, muscles audibly popping. He started kissing softly along Jimin’s neck, slowly moving along up his pulse, down his jaw, to the corner of his lips. He had risen up to get better access. “I love you,” he murmured. Jimin let his eyes drift shut as Jaebum kissed him. It was sweet and gentle, almost loving. It confused Jimin to no end. The kiss lasted a few moments before Jaebum pulled away to stare into Jimin’s eyes. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed. He stroked Jimin’s cheek before kissing him again, deeper. Jimin fought to keep his lips shut, but Jaebum’s tongue probed harshly enough to gain entrance. Jimin couldn’t help the feeling of panic overcome him, especially when Jaebum’s hands started to crawl down towards his stomach. Jimin roughly turned his head to the side, bringing his knees up to push Jaebum away. His kidnapper sat back, eyebrows furrowed and eyes curious. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“Scared.” He didn’t mean to say anything, but the word had left his lips before he could stop it. He wasn’t lying, at least. He _was_ scared. Very scared. Maybe even terrified.

“Oh, Minnie,” Jaebum cooed. “Why’s that?”

Jimin froze. He couldn’t say he was scared of Jaebum, scared of what Jaebum wanted to do to him. No man has kissed him like this before, and sure as hell no man has touched him. So yes, Jimin was fucking _terrified_ of what Jaebum’s actions have implied. But he couldn’t say this. He had to lie. “I’m just- not good with, uh, intimacy.”

Jaebum studied his face for a good minute before smiling gently. “Of course. It’s okay, baby. I can wait until you’re ready.” When he stood from the bed, Jimin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I have to get to work. Eat well, i’ll be home a little close to dinner.” After he blew a kiss to the small man on the bed, he walked out of the room.

Jimin listened to him shuffling around the house, getting ready, and then the door opening and closing, signalling that he was alone. Jimin layed in bed, listening to the static silence slowly filtering into his ears. His thoughts were running so fast that he couldn’t keep track of them. He shifted a little under the covers, shivering when ghost fingers touched him where Jaebum had. It was almost like he never left. Jimin shot up into sitting position. He wasn’t ready to deal with that.

He got up from the bed and stretched, feeling his muscles pop. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do today, but breakfast sounded like a good place to start. But before he could leave the room, the weight of Jaebum against him was suddenly suffocating, attached to his clothes like mold and he felt like he was going to die if he didn’t get the clothes off of him _fast_. He threw off his clothes, shivering when the cold air met his skin. It was better than the ghostly weight on his clothes, the weight which he could sense from the pile in front of him if he focused on it enough. He aggressively shook his head to stop. Now wasn’t the time to do this. He changed into a big sweater and sweatpants, rubbing at his eyes. Exhaustion was already settling on his bones, as though the act of changing clothes was enough to put him down for the day. He almost didn’t want to leave the room. Once he left, that would mean starting his day, which meant Jaebum would come home, but he also knew that time doesn’t stop for him, and that Jaebum would come no matter what. So, if a little disappointed huff, he walked out into the hallway.

The only sound which broke the silence were the vents, pumping warm air into the house. Jimin ran a hand through his hair. He walked down the hall towards the kitchen. He didn’t feel particularly hungry(not when the feeling of _Jaebum_ wasn’t leaving him even though he left his clothes in his room) so it wasn’t like food was on his mind, but then again, making food might be a distraction.

Hopefully.

He opened the pantry, scanning the shelves. Nothing struck his interest. He sighed and moved onto the fridge. Nope, not interested. He tugged at his hair a little in frustration. He should eat, _has_ to eat, but his body was numb and he didn’t want to deal with food. So instead, he walked into the living room, curling up on the couch, staring at the blank TV with his hood up. He felt weird, like he was intruding. Which wasn’t true; he was kidnapped, brought here against his own will.

He felt sick.

Staring at the TV turned to his eyes softly closing. He breathed deeply, relaxing against the couch cushions, trying to transport himself back to the dorms. His heart ached with the need to leave, but his body was too tired. He should try again. He has to. But he can’t. The weight of the world settled against him, suffocating him against the couch. It felt like a harsh prickle against his head and back. A tremor went through his body to try to get rid of it; he shrugged his shoulders, shook his head. It was still there. He fought to stay awake because sudden terror washed over him when he thought o Jaebum walking in and seeing him like this, but exhaustion won against him.

 

 

A light brush of lips tickling his forehead brought him out of his nap. He blinked open his eyes, rubbing at them with sweater paws. He heard chuckling above him and he froze.

“You’re so cute,” Jaebum cooed.

Dread came down in waves as realization struck Jimin that he had slept his day away, and Jaebum had come home. He looked up at Jaebum through his bangs. The man had a soft look on his face.

“How long did you sleep here for?” he asked with a tilt to his head.

Jimin coughed awkwardly. “N-not too long,” he replied. He turned his gaze away, eyes moving to the boxes at Jaebum’s feet. “What are those?”

“Oh, these?” He laughed a little, kicking one of the boxes slightly. “Just some flavoured shots. You know, I figured since we’re together and all, we could do some together.”

“I don’t drink,” Jimin lied through clenched teeth. The dread was growing now. He knew Jaebum was going to try to get him drunk, and the implications of that were not good. He also knew that he hadn’t ate all day, so the alcohol would hit him hard.

Jaebum looked at him like he _knew_ he was lying, eyes squinted, corners of his lips upturned. “Oh really?” He playfully placed his hands on his hips. “Well, it’s never too late to start.” He then suddenly tugged Jimin up off the couch.

Jimin let out a little whimper, legs wobbling and in pain from being curled up for too long. His knees ached so badly. He definitely slept too long.

Jaebum handed Jimin two of the boxes and he took the other two. Jimin gulped because that was a lot of shots. Jaebum led the way to the kitchen table. He se his boxes on it, and Jimin followed suit. It was jarring to think about how he only ever really drank with Jungkook and Jin and he was about to drink with a stranger, and it also haunted him that the last time he drank he ended up there.

“Alright, baby, let’s do this together.” Jaebum had torn into the first box whilst Jimin was just standing there, and he handed him one. “That’s called a porn star.” He smirked when Jimin looked up at him and squinted. “Cool name, I know.” He then raised his own shot. “Cheers?”

Jimin raised his with a shaky hand. He didn’t want to disobey him, didn’t want to know what Jaebum would do to him if he refused to take the shot, so he raised it to his lips and shot it back.

It burned down his throat in a familiar but uncomfortable way. Initial slight warmth flowed through him like it always did. His eyes met Jaebum’s, and the other smiled gently at him.

“See? Not so bad.” He handed him another one. “Another one?”

 

 

Jimin sat in his chair, feeling sluggish, head lolled to the side. He felt warm all over. He stared at the table blankly. Didn’t look up until Jaebum called his name.

“So? How are you feeling?”

Jimin’s eyes couldn’t focus, so he just laughed. He threw his upper body around a bit, head rolling after it. It felt nice- _great_ , even, not to feel like his world was ending. But then he realized Jaebum was standing over him and he stared back up. His smile fell off his face as he remembered the weight on his morning clothes and Jaebum’s cold hands and he was suddenly terrified.

“What’s wrong?” Jaebum brought a hand up to cup Jimin’s face, who flinched away. He frowned. “Minnie?”

Jimin chuckled then. It was so weird how fucked his situation was. He brought a hand up to tug at his hair, feeling like he was wearing a wig. He wanted it _off_.

“Stop, you’re going to pull your hair out,” Jaebum scolded. He grabbed Jimin’s wrists and pulled them down. He looked angry. “I think you should go to bed.”

Jimin shook his head aggressively. “No, please, don’t touch me.” He tugged his hands away from Jaebum, trying to get them free. “Let go. Let go. Let go!”

“Jimin, calm down, i’m not going to hurt you!”

Jimin kicked a leg out, but it felt like jello, so it barely made contact with the body in front of him. “Stop! Please, let _go_!”

“What are you so afraid of?!”

Why was Jaebum yelling at him why was he angry Jimin just didn’t want to be touched that’s all why won’t he _listen_ -

“I’m scared, i’m scared, please don’t-”

“Scared of what?”

“Of you!” Jimin screamed. He continued his fight, but Jaebum had froze with an unreadable expression on his face. “I don’t want you! Go away!”

Jaebum’s face grew red with anger and his jaw clenched. If Jimin was sober he would have had the time to notice this and feel the weight of his words, but he was drunk, so he couldn’t possibly notice these things. It was then that Jaebum let go of his wrists in favour of grabbing his shirt and pulling him harshly out of his chair. A few steps and a swing of his arms and then Jimin felt his back slam into the wall, knocking the breath out of him.

“You fucking _liar_ ,” he snarled lowly. Jimin stared at him with wide eyes, suddenly feeling a little more sober than before. “You told me you loved me, but no, you’re just a fucking liar. I can’t even kiss you without you trying to push me away! I thought what we had was special, but no, of course not.” He slammed Jimin into the wall again. He didn’t realize he was sobbing until Jaebum’s grip on him lightened up just a little, but then Jaebum pushed him back, squeezing him against the wall. “You don’t realize how easy it is to take a life, do you?” he asked, voice suddenly calm.

“Don’t-”

“I love you so fucking much, I give you a home, clothes, food, I shower you with love every single day, but you still act like I _want_ to hurt you. I don’t, Jimin. I love you. But if you don’t love me, there’s no point in keeping you here, alive-”

“No, please-” Jimin was wheezing, he couldn’t breathe, felt like his chest was going to pop.

“You don’t love me, so what’s the point?” Jaebum shrugged nonchalantly, though his face showed the emotional struggle he was having inside his head.

“No, I love you, I was lying, I love you so much, please don’t kill me-”

“You don’t!” Jaebum suddenly yelled, Jimin flinching in his grasp. “You don’t even want to have sex with me, damnit!”

“I will!” Jimin shouted back. Silence dropped like dead weight around them.

“What?” Jaebum looked shocked.

“I’ll-” Jimin took a shaky breath. “I’ll have sex with you.” He felt like he was forcing the words out through a brick wall, but they were out there.

He couldn’t take them back.

Jaebum leaned back, looking skeptical. “Really? When, then?”

Jimin opened and shut his mouth a couple of times before saying the first thing that came to his mind.

“13 days.”

A smile spreads wide on Jaebum’s face. “Really?” He sounded genuinely happy, and the abrupt change in emotions gave Jimin whiplash. He started kissing Jimin’s face all over. “That’s so nice of you!” He let go of Jimin, and he fell to the ground, his whole weight having been supported by Jaebum.

He sat on the floor, staring at the kitchen tiles in a daze. Did he really just give a date to having _sex_ with Jaebum?

His life was fucked.

He felt too drunk for this.

“There! On the calendar,” Jaebum chirped from somewhere above him. His eyelids started to droop. “Aww, is my baby tired? It’s okay. We can get you to bed.”

Jimin felt himself being lifted into Jaebum’s arms bridal style. He blinked up at the too-bright ceiling. What just happened in the kitchen felt like a distant memory as Jaebum’s movements of walking down the hallway to his room started to lull him to sleep. He let his eyes drift shut, staying only awake enough to be vaguely aware of what Jaebum was doing. Which was basically pulling his sweater off once sitting him down on the bed.

Cold sheets touched his back. It felt nice, a contrast to his hot skin. A blanket was draped over him, sealing him away from the cool air of his bedroom. The vague sound of the door being gently shut resonated in his ears, comfortingly. It was at this time that he let himself drift away, the night fading away like a dream. He welcomed the comfort that the darkness provided. It was soothing to not have to think about Jaebum or alcohol or the fact that in 13 days he would-

No.

He didn’t have to think. Not anymore.

He let sleep take over, limbs aching to shut down.

He didn’t dream that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oay so after rereading trying to behave by christmasyoongi((please talk to me abt this my tumblr is christhesmallbee)) i got sudden inspiration AND motivation to finish this chapter!! i had the first two paragraphs writtin for _weeks_ but i managed to get this done?? wow


	8. Gray Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been here before  
> Sat on a floor  
> In a gray gray mood  
> Where I stay up all night  
> And all that I write  
> is a gray gray tune"  
> \- _Gray Room by Damien Rice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup sluts its ya boi sugar gay back at it again-
> 
> sorry its been so long i got outta kpop for a bit but i saw my bud elli recently and ykno i cried when i left but then i got INSPIRED to finish this chapter.
> 
> also FUCK leaving this fic uncompleted. fuck. THAT.
> 
> so this is a pretty short chapter, def not the best, sorry abt that. but i PROMISE we'll be getting to the juicy juicy asss stuff soon. like fuckin. and weed. im kidding abt the weed part tahst not in my plans im so sorry i planned this fic before i started Really gettin into the weed shit
> 
> im not fixing ANY mistakes today bc yeet

Day Eight  
Thursday, January 18th

Jimin opened his eyes in a daze, feeling like his head was on fire. Tears were crusted over his face. His back throbbed with a distant pain as though he had been stepped on by elephants. A groan left his lips when he shifted slightly. Everything _hurt_. The position he was laying in was comfortable at least; felt like he didn’t want to move for a while. A long while. God, he just wanted to _sleep_.

The night was coming back to him in bits and pieces. He took a nap. Jaebum came home. There were boxes of shots. He didn’t eat that day. Jaebum did.. something. Jimin’s head hurt just trying to remember. A feeling of dread was heavy in his heart. What.. happened?

The pitter-patter of rain from the outside was soothing, in a way. It could easily lull him back to sleep, but he knew something happened, so he couldn’t allow himself to fall back. He rubbed at his eyes and sniffled. It definitely felt like he had cried the day before. In his mind’s eye he caught a glimpse of an angry Jaebum. He rubbed at his wrists where Jaebum had grabbed him after he tried to pull out his hair. Fuck, why’d he do that? Why was he an idiot when he was drunk?

He blinked a couple of times to clear his vision, looking over at the glass of water on the nightstand, along with a note. Groggily, he pulled himself towards the nightstand and reached out, taking the note in his hands and squinting his eyes to be able to read properly.

_My Dearest Jiminnie <3  
I have to work overnight. :( I promise i’ll be home early tomorrow for breakfast!! I hope you feel okay today. Remember to eat and stay hydrated!!  
Love, Jaebum <3_

Jimin groaned. How can someone be so _gross_ just through writing? He shoved it under his pillow to deal with later. Honestly, him being up is a crime itself, so his best bet would be to sleep off this god awful hangover that he got. All thanks to Jaebum. It was all Jaebum’s fault that he was here in the first place, with a hangover and throbbing back and a promise that in 13 days he’d-

Jimin shot up in bed, blood running cold. A sudden memory of the night before assaulted his brain with an even bigger headache. He clutched his chest, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. Fuck, how could he forget? Why was he so stupid to even suggest that? Idiot, idiot, idiot! He threw himself off the bed only for his legs to get tangled up in the blanket.

“Fuck!” Jimin shoved the blanket off himself and stood, making a run into the hall and straight to the front door in nothing but boxers and most definitely Jaebum’s hoodie. He was _not_ staying another goddamn night. He grabbed the handle and shook it, trying to get it to open, but of fucking course all it does is make the lock light blink red. “Come on, come _on_!” He kept trying, but to no avail. Tears of frustration rolled off his cheeks and onto the floor. He slowed down when his arms started to ache. “Please open,” he softly begged, letting his forehead hit the door as he closed his eyes. His shoulders shook with silent sobs. He couldn’t think of anything worse than having to promise his body to someone he didn’t want anything to do with.

He wanted to go home.

He took a shuddering breath and wiped his tears with the sleeves of the hoodie. Why was he such a fucking _crybaby_? He turned around, moving his legs weakly towards the kitchen. It looked like Jaebum had cleaned up the place. He looked around from where he stood in the doorway. Nothing was really different from the time Jimin has already spent here. He shivered a little and approached a random cupboard. When he opened it, his eyes went wide at what he saw.

Alcohol.

Basically, it was a cupboard full of rum and unopened wine and there was also the undrank shots from the night before. Jimin bit his lip, debating.

He didn’t want to be here.

He pulled out some rum and started up some coffee. Its been so long since he’s had coffee- he had stopped when he last went on a diet and never really went back -but he needed something to put rum in, and it was clearly too early for some pop. It took a few minutes, but the coffee was finally ready. He breathed out a sigh of relief. His hands were shaking as he poured some into a pale blue cat mug and added the rum, but he managed to do it without spilling. Holding the now-warm mug in his hands was like a well-needed hug.

At least he had the day and night to himself. He could finally relax until morning. But even that felt like an empty hope.

The coffee burned his lips when he drank it. He’d like to say that it was okay, that his time there was worse than any pain from fucking coffee could do, but he was wrong. It hurt. Then again, everything hurt.

He shook his head. He needed to keep his hopes up. Try to. No use feeling sorry for himself, right? He made up his mind to write in the notebook. Write a letter to Jin. Keep his sanity in check.

He brought the notebook and pen out to the kitchen. He didn’t feel safe writing out here, but he hated that room, so this would make due.

He began by writing that he really hated Jaebum’s cooking and that he missed Jin’s so much because he always reminded him of his mother’s cooking. He made a promise that he’d help out, do the dishes, do _anything_ for Jin if he got out. But that just made him sad, so he added at the end that he’ll stay strong for his _hyung_. At least semi-satisfied with the letter, he put the items back and finished his coffee.

Now what?

It was always so boring when he had nothing to do at the dorms, wasting day by day trying to figure out something to do when he was forced to _not_ practice. But what now?

He sighed. Maybe Jaebum had some cards? He felt weird about going into his room, but then again, Jimin _was_ left alone, so he could do what he pleased. He shouldn’t care.

Walking in, his eyes immediately went to the large bookshelf. Books. He could read. That could very well past the time until he was rescued, or came up with a plan to get out. Hell, maybe one of those books did have a plan. He took out the ones with the most interesting covers and started reading one at random.

The one he started reading was _Desperation_ by Stephen King. Jimin was never one for horror books, but hey, if he didn’t try something new now when he was kidnapped, when would he? He chuckled dryly to himself.

He was a quarter away from finishing the book when he heard the rain turn to thunder. It startled him so he ended up dropping the book. And the lights went out, so even if he tried to find his place in the book, he’d be too blind to read it. He carefully stepped away from the couch and started making his way towards his room. He forgot where the candles were, and he had nothing to light them with, either, so it was only right he’d go back to his room and try to sleep.

Lightning flashed and thunder boomed and Jimin dove into his bed. He covered himself with the blanket and blocked out the sounds of the storm with his hands. He didn’t get to sleep, but eventually, the lights turned on and the thunder seemed to have stopped, although the rain was still persistent.

The time was 10:00PM then. He had spent a full day doing nothing but reading a single book(and hiding from the storm). He wasn’t too disappointed in himself, but the feelings of disappointment arose within him. He knew he could do better. Be more productive. He should’ve been working out because then, when he left, he’d be in top shape to work.

But no. He had to an idiot and read.

He tried to shake his head of this self-deprecation, but the thoughts keep rising up, until he couldn’t take it anymore and decided to go to the living room and distract himself by reading books.

Yes. That’d be fine. Distraction. Then he could go to sleep and be closer to getting rescued. He settled down on the couch, picking up _Desperation_ , and found his spot rather quickly. Since he was so close to finishing the book already, he decided to pick up one of the other books he chose and continue reading.

He didn’t think to stop or check the time all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fellas im sugar gay-


	9. Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Keep me in a glass jar sealed with a label;  
> You think you know my world  
> ..  
> My love, my life, my work, my time;  
> I give them all to you"  
> \- _Sand by Damien Rice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand heres the next chapter !! its another short one, i know, but after chapter 10 is when we get to the Good Shit. also ive found sm more angsty ass songs which is filling holes in this story so well and i nut everytime-
> 
> and as a fun lil thing, i want yall to comment your prediction for the end ;)c will i provide a happy ending, will someone die, will jaebum get what he deserves? Who Knows but take guesses. idc how Wild they are i wanna see
> 
> AS A NOTE please feel free to provide constructive criticism! i will admit my writing has faltered as of late, and i apologize for it. my only reasoning is that i am Depressed almost constantly so yeet

Day Nine  
Friday, January 19th

Okay, so maybe Jimin took a break around 1am and took out some of the alcohol. And maybe he got a little drunk.

_A lot_ drunk. Not his best decision, but what can you do when you’ve been kidnapped.

He was shouting about the books he was reading by 3am. Yeah, they were pretty incoherent words, but hey, he had the passion. And passion was all that mattered to him.

Jaebum came home at 7:50am with McDonalds for breakfast to a Jimin, still semi-drunk, rereading Desperation just to yell at the characters in the book. Although, at this point he was just mumbling angrily. Jaebum wanted to surprise the “love of his life” in bed, cuddle up with him while eating their breakfast, and maybe watch a show or two. But of course, he can’t always get what he wants.

Jaebum took one look at all the drunks scattered around Jimin and felt an anger boiling up in him that he tried to push down.

“Jimin,” he began as sweetly as he could, “what are you doing?”

“Reading,” Jimin scoffed. He turned back to his book to mumble some more.

Jaebum closed his mouth into a thin line and took a deep, frustrated breath through his nose. “Were you drinking?”

Without answering, Jimin nodded towards the food in Jaebum’s hands. “What’s that?”

“I asked you a question first, Jimin. Were you-”

“Are you dumb? Of course I did. Have to when you’re around.” He mumbled the last part, but Jaebum still heard.

Without hesitation Jaebum dropped the bags and grabbed Jimin’s arm, dragging him to his bedroom.

“Hey-!” he protested as he was dragged down the hall.

“I shouldn’t have to treat you like a child, Jimin,” the older said sternly.

Fear sobered Jimin up quite a bit. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” He was cut off with a _yelp_ when Jaebum threw him onto the bed.

His gaze softened as he looked at the beauty on the bed in his sweater. “I missed you, you know? I was thinking about you all day.”

Without thinking, Jimin blurted out, “I miss BTS.”

Jaebum stood, frozen in shock, before turning and leaving the room. Jimin held his breath as he heard Jaebum stomp around the house then back back to his room.

Holding handcuffs. Silver in the light.

“I don’t like it when you disrespect me, baby,” Jaebum whispered, clearly trying not to snap and yell. Jimin could see it in the way he held himself so stiffly. He handcuffed both of Jimin’s hands to the bed then, hands harsh against his skin. Jimin tried to fight him off, but Jaebum straddled his stomach to hold him down. “You’re going to stay here for the next few days. I’ll feed you myself. You let me know when you need to go pee.” He got off of Jimin and stood over the bed dauntingly.

“No,” Jimin whispered, then his voice got progressively louder. “No. No! NO!!” He kicked his legs around and fought against the cuffs. Jaebum just sighed. The younger cried and screamed while the older stood and watched on. Waiting for him to calm down. Which he did, when his body was too tired to keep up the fighting.

“I love you,” Jaebum said. He bent over the bed and gave Jimin a gentle kiss. “This is for your own good until you learn to behave.” Jimin just sobbed. Jaebum left then, making sure to plunge the room into darkness as he did so.

Jimin felt alone. Trapped. He regretted everything.

He heard Jaebum continue about his day, cleaning up the mess Jimin made. His thoughts ran with how the day could’ve gone if he hadn’t said shit. He tried pulling at the cuffs every now and then, but they wouldn’t budge. His chest convulsed when he started crying again.

 

 

Jaebum came back a few hours later with the McDonalds, reheated. Jimin was just staring up at the ceiling, looking over only when Jaebum entered the room.

“Hungry?” The older smiled like nothing was wrong.

Jimin shook his head. “I have to go pee.” His voice was quiet, afraid of misspeaking.

Jaebum nodded. “Alright, then. After you can eat.” He took out the key from his pockets and unlocked the cuffs. Jimin, on a sudden rush of a need for freedom, sprang up and tried to run. But arms around his waist stopped him. “Sorry, baby,” he murmured into the sweater, inhaling his scent. Then, keeping himself around Jimin, he guided them both to the bathroom and shut the door, with him inside as well.

Jimin felt awkward, then, realizing that Jaebum wasn’t even turning around.

“Um, do you mind?” he asked quietly. Nervously.

Jaebum shrugged. “You gave up your freedom to privacy the second you misspoke. Now you have to deal with the consequences.” He crossed his arms. “Go ahead. Your food is getting cold.”

Jimin started shaking, feeling like he was going to cry. But he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t listen. So, he started to unzip his pants, the sound loud in the small room. Jimin refused to look up at Jaebum as he stood over the toilet. He should be used to being in the bathroom with another guy. But no, this was different. This felt way more intimate.

It took awhile for him to be able to go, but he finally did. He breathed a sigh of relief and washed his hands. But then Jaebum grabbed him by the shirt harshly and dragged him back into the room.

“You took too long,” Jaebum grumbled. He took Jimin’s top off and pushed him onto the bed, reattaching him by one hand. He handed the food to Jimin and watched him eat. As soon as Jimin was done, he reattached the loose hand.

“Wait,” Jimin breathed, shaking. Jaebum turned back to him. “I- i’m cold.”

Jaebum paused before suddenly snatching the blanket and pillow away from him. “Fine. Is that better?”

“Why are you mad? D- don’t you l-love me?”

Jaebum’s gaze softened ever so softly. “Of course I do. But you need to learn.” With that, he left the room.

Jimin started crying then. His arms ached from being stretched for so long. It hurt. He wanted to go home. Why was Jaebum punishing him like this? What was he supposed to learn from this experience? That he had 0 freedom? He already knew that. So why did Jaebum have to rub it in his face?

Jaebum came back a few hours later to let him piss again, barely saying a word outside asking if he needed anything. He stared straight at Jimin’s face the whole time. Jimin actually sort of missed the Jaebum who cooed over him and loved him, although he would much rather a Jaebum who would feel sorry for him and let him leave. Jimin finished and washed his hands. He wanted to be quick, to make Jaebum happy, but he seemed to not be quick enough because Jaebum suddenly grabbed his arm and turned off the taps.

“That’s enough washing,” he said. Jimin let out a shaky breath as he was pulled back into the bedroom and reattached to the bed. Jaebum left a small kiss on his forehead. One on his nose. A brush over his lips.

Then he was gone, leaving Jimin alone in the dark and cold to cry himself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you: author-nim  
> me: please, call me by my maiden name, Whitey
> 
> as a life update:  
> i am moving back to alberta!! its honestly been so hell for me this year, and ive found out some.. Bad Things. but hopefully after this move ill start getting better. esp since i get more weed, and that means bye-bye anxiety


End file.
